†♥ღ Be Happyღ ♥†

no one is pefect ｡◕‿◕｡

2010-12-01T16:20:00.000-08:00

well ... just gonna rant about ex again xD

hmmm ... lemme see . i'm just looking for someone who is brave , gentle , romantic and pampers me . xDD is that so perfect ? LOL .

first ex - gentle but not romantic ...
second - unknown . romantic maybe but violent .
3rd - gentle , cute but kinda ... null . = =
4rd - romantic , gentle , pampers me BUT playboy , cheater and girlish .
5th - romantic , gentle , cute , pampers me and brave BUT a dangerous playboy and cheater .
6th - romantic , gentle , cute but coward and like to pout like girls = = .
7th - romantic , gentle , cute but coward .
8th - unknown . cute .
9th - mysterious . brave .
10th - gentle , cute , romantic but dangerous playboy .
11th - romantic , gentle , brave ... but is just lacking of something > < .
etc[forgot xD ] .

*sigh ~ well have a great day ~ ｡◕‿◕｡

from the last post until 30/10/2010 .

2010-10-30T04:19:00.000-07:00

hmm lately ... is messing a bit . exam still going on , my last subject is on next monday , thats Pengajian Perniagaan K2 . felt like typing all the things had been on my mind lately but forgot D:

2 until 3/11/10 going to johor and s'apore . 4th will be at s'apore for about 8hours . 5th/11/10 will be back :D and 2nd sis is having wedding-ceremony-tea or whatever its called .

so ... my question is .. .what is friend ? why am i always the one being ignored ? what does i love you mean ? oh ... i had been typing with lots of space lately . and more formal with a "."

when i put a fullstop , it means i dont want to talk to you [before] but i realize its neat :D and if i said bye to you means i dont really care about you [ except for classmates ] of course i had said bye bye to my classmate xD

i had friends . "i love you" is repeating a lot . until now ... it doesn mean anything anymore . guys said "i love you" and then after they get her , he's busy . poor girl ... she is not a doll Dx

i'll open my eyes AFTER i'm 18 :D well .. before that , hurt me as much as you want :D

jya ~ thats all ~ regards , good day ~♥~

my love history ^^

2010-09-19T15:40:00.000-07:00

hmm i think by stating all out here will make me more happy . bcoz i wanna forget it all . but if i want to rmb it . i can just read this to refresh . XD

umm .. wont tell history bout other things . just some characteristic of my beloved's ex's . XD i love and i cant hate . its torturing hating .

the first one .. standard 5 .^^ i think dont need to state name gua ?! aiya... but will forget later leh ... alrite .. his name Sam xD umm .. his relationship with me is the most complicated .

how shud i put it ? umm .. its like , standard 5 and 6 we are couple but then form 1&2 we lost contact . form 3&4 couple back . form 5 break . form 6 couple back . and in the middle of this year ... break . XD

lets see .. he was a nice guy . he was out-date the moment i met him, [frankly ok ? TT__TT hope he dont read this ler ] but then when chatting with him form 5 he was so matured and improved so muchhhh! i was like ... omg ?!

haha .. his personality that i like ... he was caring . always calling me and sms-ing me . sending me credits . well i always send back thou ... i hate owe-ing people [bad experience when i'm standard3] .

personality i dislike . he was like old man . bla bla bla . xD sometimes we dont even had a topic to chat ?!

confession : giving letter when going back from tuition class . and presents sometimes . little surprise ^^ unknown duration .same age .

but we are still friends now . i think ? XD

alright . next . oh ... this one . form 1 . his name ....... Adrian . haha. this one is easy to forget . frankly ... XD

confession : giving letter on the way we're walking back .

unforgetable moment : yelled out "i love you ah ~! " on the staircase with loads of peoples . half a year .same age .

oh .. when i said he was the easiest to forget bcoz ... we never had anything to do . rarely talk . just sms ! i'm serious . XD well ... i had a stupid habits . i hate rejecting people XD

third one .. unknown .

fourth . unknown .

fifth . this was a bit special . XD Kevin . omg.. i'm serious . he was younger than me . XD 1995 . which means 3 years younger than me .

he was cute . but always busy TT____TT the reason why i break up with him .

confession : face to face : i love you . which shock me .

rare memories . just some blank promises . 2 months .

sixth . unknown .

seventh . Mike . umm ... he is also caring and nice . but sometimes he is extremely busy . he cheated once . but then we're back together . a cat lover . very girly . = =" i cant stand that . i felt like lesbian .

his line "when u're scared , i'll ease ur mind" . althou i know thats a blank promise too . but its so sweet .

confession : unknown . XD

memories : too much . XD of 6 months .

personality - quite a pervert too XD 20 years old .

eigth .dont wanna tell .

ninth one . forgot completely = ="

tenth . Zuriel . which also given me a new name . kyriel . XD he is the sweetest among all above . but also the sly-est . sometimes even idk if he's for real or not .

"i love you" at least 5 times a day , was what he always told me . sms and phone calls everyday . but my jealousy went over . we break bcoz my jealousy is too high and his pride is high . TT_____TT

personality : sweet . caring . stubborn . sly . pervert .

confession : always hanging around . and direct confession .

memories : too much ! x3 . of 1 and a half months . same age .

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and then ?

food! XD

2010-08-30T17:19:00.000-07:00

Today 30-08 talks bout food wit vivian and debbie .woooh..that time almost 12.30pm.
hungry like hell xD stomach already drumming.today nt even a second to emo.
the best day this month xD
My top 10 food that i want nw.
Pudding.
Honeydew[juice] or bubbletea.
Ikura.
Onigiri.
Miso soup.
Ice blended mocha/choco expresso.
Cuppucino.
Mushroom soup.
Roti canai.
Kuih[idk what its called xD]
Dim sum.
Lo mai kai. xD
And more more sweet food xD

my point of view .

2010-08-27T16:02:00.000-07:00

Elders always think their exp is 100% righteous.nt even bother to give nwadays teenagers a FREAKING chance to explain or change.bcoz they always think 'a sinner is forever a sinner' they dont give the chance for them to change coz they're afraid to take the risk .

and they think all teenagers are the same as those rotten society rubbish.did they ever think the pressure from them is one of the cause?come on la..what century is this?

just becoz of one rubbish in society , everyone is rubbish?i stand in the point of view of the elders..yes its true .'prevention is better than cure' but please be clear that prevention is nt meant to force,putting pressure or to control them.maybe they cn just give them advices.

if it doesn work.do it slowly or to find someone expert in teenagers problems and understand the reasons behind their deeds.if u dont even have the patience or felt the responbilities then dont even care to have sex and child.once they're born , parents takes full responbilities on them!

random blogggggggy X3

2010-07-17T21:34:00.000-07:00

well well ...

first of all .. how about talking about me ? XD emo-ing daily.. falls asleep when i'm not supposed to xD

my english had been up up up recently.. influenced by someone.. felt proud .. XD kidding..

umm guys are so bastard likey ? XD firstly then would tried to have you . later when they get you , they'll try to dump u ..

aiya forgot what i'm about to tell .. .-. geeeeeee... fine~ just gonna spill out everything on this blog again later~ if i rmb~ =D

o_0

2010-06-27T23:34:00.000-07:00

no title as usual ler...xD
err.. this diary is actually for me to rant.
xp
errr.. woot a long time since i last update hor ?

ok to the point..
so start off with *cough cough ... he always said give him a chance... now he gave up so .. i still owe him one .. and i think i paid it just now . yep .its not like i hate him or something... just that ..he is too good xD i truly wish him happiness (^^,)

second off .. =) someone ... who always said "love" without meaning it.someone who always rant to me . someone whose jealousy is very HIGH . yes so damn f-ing high ! when i'm with a guy he would get jealous but FYI my jealousy level is darn xxxx f-ing high too .when he is with another girl , its called "GENTLEMAN" WTF dude ?!

dont make me laugh ... he think i dont know that .. i'm a good stalker xp
he is a liar , someone with high jealousy , and many more. that make us even . but its he did it first and i just PAY BACK . its called SELF PROTECT . okay ?

and i can count everything about him . althou he is good to me.. but that is what everyone can be to me.

negative points .
he loved cat.. oh come on ! that makes me felt like lesbian ..
obsessive with new stuff.. i cant help u on that u know ?!
he called me out / chat to me when he is bored. darn .. i'm not a f-ing-shitty
-doll for u to play with !
and etc .. zzz!
thats all .

*yawn ...
doing PP hmwork .. will sleep later after some game ^^ nite nite~

oh one more..sorry for the foul language i used... i'm in a very shitty mood ! TC~

today~

2010-04-12T15:55:00.000-07:00

woah long time no go tesco liao..usually go kinrara's giant / seri kembangan jusco de.so update hor the tesco...haha~ SELF SERVICE... >.> i need to pack everything myself... zha dao...

actually today go 2 place de.go itu...kuchai lama[ i dont know la..the place got carefour there...my sense of direction damn low ] got a supermarket named "the store" damn lousy...the price damn mahal... that rice 49.99 ..tesco 40.99 >.> wth...

then go tesco ... actually want buy rice and sugar oni but hor... take take take until rm350+ liao.
@_@

zha dao...wah tesco changed so much leh..since the last time i visit there...want take a free card~ but no bring ic~ TT^TT aiyo go jalan jalan why need bring ic leh~ >.>

then hor...at the counter...the cashier look at me and gave me evil grin...i din look her at the face..then she said something [ my ears got problem one.. >.> ] i din hear so ignore her..then she said something to my father...

my father told me "hey she said she know u oh" ... i was like " har?" then i looked at her face...ohhhh...looks familiar but 0.00% of memory for her.@_@

who are you? i think i know her...but no memory at all.. [ FYI my memory is low too ^^" ]

tuition friend?classmate?or even schoolmate?haiz...i could forget someone in 3 month time if i din see/keep in contact with a certain person...i think this malay girl is form 1 or 2 de friend la..coz form 3+4+5 i think i can rmb de..

or maybe she transfer to other school de...? @_@ suan le~ but meeting old friend is nice~ what a nice feeling~ althou i dont rmb her~ but she seems like a nice one~ ^^

today...jpj test D'X

2010-04-06T19:24:00.000-07:00

so...go there by 12pm.then wait wait then test then wait again then test ...zzz... total... test = 1 hour.wait = 6 hours.....wth.....

then ... naik bukit...wahhh @_@ so beautiful ... i also cant believe myself pass it first round =D used 1 minute *sweat*

hehe very happy .. then parking.. also beautiful~~this one okay lar~~

then.........the stupid three-point-turn...ahh this one ...after enter...all beautiful...then the stupid car dont wanna move after i lepas klaj o_0;; arggg...used 2 minute~

oh i fail at......erm...when reverse.....i forgot to change to gear1 and the car move back 1cm or move a bit...then FAIL! what the... haiz fail IS fail .. (｡＞0＜｡) blame the car~ then when back still need be sardine~ 10 student in one answer [<-- a car's name] >.>

10 student...1 pass...1 fail parking...8 fail three point turn =D

argggggg~!! next time i thought just test back the three point turn only ... but i need to test ALL [ hill,parking and three point turn!]

hmph...then my money~~~~~~~~ TT^TT

oh on the road... 16/20...pass =D hehe...when doing round'bout.....i duno why the car move very fast...i din press oil ah... TT^TT then the jpj start scold scold scold [ like no tomorrow *sweat*]

then me kept nod-ing...and he scold me one more "nod nod nod! [ i forgot what he said == thats something to scold me lah~ TT^TT]"

then...ah he scold me until back to the nilai centre

(｡＞0＜｡)

crazy...

2010-03-08T20:12:00.000-08:00

omg...just now...my father phone rang...my father "what?! --- kah yan ar?" =o= why my full name? == i thought is yuen..coz in the morning i got sms and ask her something about her license..

but hor...no way she would call my father number la. >o<>
me : "hello...?" *scratching head* [and omg ... i thought he was a girl...i thought he was someone learning car with me >.>]
him : jie jie still rmb me ar? [what the...jie jie? =o=]
me : ahhh...ohhh..ummm...you are...?
him : forgot me ar?umm the one ask u for the poster..
me : ahh ohhh..umm the --------------?
him : ya..now i form - liao...
me : ohh..where did u got this phone number?
him : nehh u write in the detail for the majalah sekolah 012------- [ darn u majalah sekolah .. and when the hell did i wrote my father's number in it? wth... the privillege being a librarian --> checking other ppl's info =.=]
me : ohhhh..ahhh and then leh?
him : no la...where did u live ah? ------- ar?
me : err yala around --- la ..oiiii are u checking my background or something...?
him : no la just ask..bla bla bla...

[did i get stalked on? wth...]

and then...whats more interesting is that...after that i went and explain to my father about that phone call =.= what the...that make me looks more suspicious..oh man!what a day....

Pain..

2010-02-01T20:27:00.000-08:00

ask me why now!! xD just kidding...when i wanted to tell nobody can stop me..when i dont want to nobody can force me ^^

aiyooo..forcing myself to be happy and smile is much more pain...almost finish watching the chinese drama [lazy wanna check the english name&dont know how to type chinese name xD]..oh well...

its "koon sam gai" [cantonese] gai~not kai~ayam xD!! edited 8:53PM ..the name is 宮心計 "beyond the realm of conscience".

reli agree with the -bitch- [sorry i used foul word.ignore it,if u dont like.xD] .yea that xxxxx.

that xxxxx once said "why she always gets what she wants?" yea..why am i always in bad lucks?aiks..

cant express feelings is a pain feeling...who [the hell] shud i trust?who shud i get my revenge?do i do good and ppl will be good?who shud i love?who shud i hate?why is jealousy a -feelings- in this -wicked- world?

without jealousy i wont asked these question u know... ^^ and lastly...who is my friends?awww...dont pity me.. TT

if You intended let me be alone...then dont gimme -hopes- please... bcoz it hurts more when everything i planned turns out the -other- way TT sobs...

oi oi..think of all this ..main reason --> just now in the afternoon..on fb..

my friend-ei ur darling got ask u out ar?
me-no.
my friend-she asked me out yesterday oh..
me-dont tell me!!!i hate you [kidding thou xD]
my friend-fine..wanna go out saturday? [<--whats this?pity me? =____=]
me-*feels a bit annoyed and jealous TT*
my friend- bla bla bla~
me- *annoyed* [so i turn the fb chats to -offline-]

HMPH~well i'm not reli angry with her..just felt jealous TT

these days playing TinierMe..an online game but.....haiz suan le~just let it be..Que Sera Sera~

this world is so -real- hahaha!~~

Ps:the smiles&laugh above is all FAKES! thank you ! ^^ <---this one included[smiles is mean] xD <---this one is 20% real~lets be real then!

oh ya one more...i am not a spare tayar xD so dont treat me as a SUBSTITUTES~thank you ^^ <----50% real~

haiz...

2010-01-22T13:38:00.000-08:00

the days memory so low(not these days,it always IS LOW!) grrr.haiz forgot certain person...bcoz long time no contact liao...and thus eliminate them from my life~bye bye~

but there is one person i will never forget and i will always keep in touch with her for she is one in a million... sobs...

yesterday dreamt about something..hehe forgot liao xD but i'm sure it was a nice dream ^^

hmm looking forward to this sunday~cousin's wedding..when will be your's sis? *chuckles*

haiz..promised..and broken=i hate u..i still rmb something...chemistry paper 3 was the last paper..before that paper we revise a bit and something crossed my mind..

i told the FRIENDS(close ones~ <3>

i am glad. =)

2010-01-15T00:02:00.000-08:00

no matter what happened i shud be glad...for a lotssssss of reason.well first of all i gt the bare necessities(its a song from jungle book~very nice one~relaxed and nice rhythm~ *chuckle*)

hehe back to the topics.hehe pass my undang after reading the 220 question book the second time i FAILED.well well.i DO NOT regret.rm120 for a lesson and 2 friends.

for a lesson is when i learn that "failures makes you stronger each time u fall down and ppl gives u a kick" well? xD

and then the 2 frens...its nice...the first time met "Yan Yumiko" facebook u will find her.but not yumiko its japanese word de.she is nice...umm she pass her first time 46 i think.. =)

but she is not arrogant at all.she is a form 5 this year (2010) .and hor she lives near my house only xD so we could met up and go jalan jalan together in jusco or giant ;)

hehe then the second time i go for test.umm in bangi one.then hor i met a arrogant girl TT.she was the same age as myself but i felt stress with her due to her arrogantness.well i had patience..lol just kidding.

she failed 41/50 just like the marks i get on my first time xD her name is also kah yan but diff surname.boooo.this one i dont wan ler xD oh ya among them there are 2 malay singer la.well teenager malay singer.

the girl is pretty but the boy...they are siblings...well the first time i see the guy hor i just saw his back with long hair but the hair is kinda rough.then when i saw his face i was like ?_? ----> @@ what the...

gender bender? <=== (read manga too much xD) OMG...he din wear a skirt so he is not a crossdresser...well anyways not my business..

okay now third time !! this realy a bit sad,happy,stress,excited and annoyed lor. okay start our journey with umm..going there..waited for some girls..then naik kereta...

then in the car hor...its unser so quit spacious but at the back the sat 4 girls included me ==!!! sardin!!! the second row 2 girls and 1 chinese guy(kinda cool xD and nice~ ><) then the front is also a chinese guy~dont really rmb his face lur~

then hor...very sad is that on the way to nilai(first time go nilai take test.the 2 times is at bangi de..well nilai de very easy la the question.gt 2 same question asked "bilakah anda boleh potong kenderaan di sebelah kiri?"

i answered when the front car moves too slow xD actually its when the left car change to right side.well i shud have answered one A and one B xD i know the answer was either those two bcoz other option was craps ==!!)

oh...yea on the way to nilai hor.....very teruk la sit 4 ppl at the back TT sardin then hor the 2 girl on my left hor talk talk talk i felt like "shut up la.i need silence to read and do revision a bit" ==!! talk talk talk ALL THE WAY to nilai...one hours+ ==

what the...on my right is a chinese girl named "Yuff Len" also in my fb (story bout her later...) at first i also not so like that girl de xD (yuff len sorry ah) well she gave me an arrogant scent. TT

then while waiting we chat ...she was 12 and i was 14 lol.14 and 19 is the number i hate the most well i hate those number ended with 4 or 9.

we chat for a while and exchange name after we talk about 10 min xD then add her on my phone (hey nice leh there got wireless de~haiz if i know earlier then that kpp i also cn play fb de la xD) then the test...

then come out she make a crying face. >< .not reli cry la just make that face ler. then i asked the mr.chong "go listen undang now ar?" he said "no la so late liao la"

ok lor.balik lagi bagus i sooooo tired that time xD then hor i thought is 42/50 de but getting the receipt is 46/50 i was like "@@ siao ar?" lol.then mr.chong just rushing and said "come come quick go listen ur undang now la~run run~" ==ll

i thought listen undang second time is the same as the first time de?but exactly diff..TT so sad NOBODY told me that TT sobs. so sad to hear it alone...

well i thought like first time de so i was happy~.so sad to part with yuff len~ then enter the room 2 hor felt scare...a lot malays and indians.you could call me racist.for i had a bad experience in school (form 3. location:school block A's stair .dont ask about it.thank you.)

okay done with that.umm...then hor sat the back lor.wait wait alone.open fb and post something.sister SINDIR me ==!

then hor when the class is about to start a malay guy came over and said "kak,boleh tak duduk kat depan" i was like haiz nvm la sit where also same jeh~

btw why call me "kak"?he looked older and he got lots of gangs there TT scared... so went in front.sit in the most front!!grrr.i hate this...

the instruktor came in giving some books but duno if he din saw me or what..he din give me TT this make me so sad and pain...i felt transparent... sobs..

thinking it makes me felt sad.i endure it...for 3 hours staying in a transparent condition.felt hungry bcoz that time around 3 o'clock liao.hungry+sad+stress+angry TT

lucky me its 3 hours nia not 6.actually got a P amali de but skip that .mr chong say cn go home de bcoz that p amali is just sitting under the sun de wor xD for me ? more good la.

no need see that yong sui malay instructor anymore.hmph.hate u forever!oh ya i think due to i am late hor that class is full of seniors and those who had a car at home and who had already practice.

uggg more stress bcoz i am the only one dont know anything about car TT.what a pain...then balik lor~shocked me...back also need see that 38 po from earlier.neh the one talk talk talk de ah. aiyo...i shud have bring my hands-free along ==!! .

phone expired cannot sms. ==!! .then hor along the way of course she also talk non stop la. i wonder if she will die if she shut up? ==!! she chat with the driver(my chong) this time bcoz she sat in front.once again i sat in the middle ==

then when on the way back we visit mr chong's house.hey nice leh.he own 4 offices,4 dogs(normal dog ...) and a big house o.O that house he said every country he go he will buy a coke or other carbonate drinks for a memory~

that coke from china damn cute xD i shud have took a pic ><~ and then again balik~this time to his office when i am dropped off.the time i closed the car door hor i was like kena electric shock ?_?

what izit the aircond problem?well i sat in the middle so the air cond was kena me TEPAT lor. a bit pain only la.then wait for father.then he go buy durian~ == i hate the most...

duno why i just cant eat them.its not the scent.its when i eat i felt like vomit ... and then fullstop for yesterday~~~

oh ya there are 3 roads i hate the most.well these are the road father always used.first is of course the most used road to the shop~there is a police station there. to tell the truth i started hating POLICE from when i am form 3 =)

i hate them .i despise them.i look at EACH OF them with glare&hatred. the second road is on the way to serdang pasar~umm.there is a road hor if morning very very jam de.bcoz we are malaysian ^^

the third road is the pasar road.one the way back.that road hor sooooooooooooooo small one.eee.well i dont hate it bcoz they are pasar people ~ lol.

haiz that all la xD tired liao now also 11:54 liao.i started typing this from 11:10 :p gudnite~

rm25...rest in peace...

2010-01-08T16:40:00.000-08:00

rofl...

what the...u see...just now in the afternoon the maid ordered a barrel of gas...then that guy come in the house!! o.O damn...then say daddy haven come back la.

then gone.just now 'round 4.30pm that guy come back...i said "boss haven come back" . ?_?

shit...then hor what make me felt like stabbing myself is...the gas seller said "then i want back the new gas barrel" then i am like "harrr?" i asked the maid "u...take their gas?" the maid nodded.

i said "give back la" . she answered "i change dy..." *faint!!!* i was like "what the...!!".why you.....haiz nvm la.rm25 please.lol.my 2008's precious collection...i usually go collect it and kept it for "emergency" use. xD

haiz but nvm la since this is also KINDA called emergency.its dangerous to let in the stranger.i was shocked when she let in that guy to my home's door. ==ll.

luckly that boss was nice.i think father is a patron of that gas seller who was a chinese.what a day!!

lol.

2010-01-07T20:30:00.000-08:00

is "sial" count as bad word? xD

this days felt so beh song...haiz...bo mood.choose between career and study.okay fine.major? lol said also daddy wont let de la...

wanna study anime!! xD haha..my conscience told me he 99.9% wont let me de. =) .ah so bored bored.when can i grow as ADULT and get my FREEDOM . o.O

haiz.sial...hate too much.

oh plkn had started *chuckle* he went to perak~ wont miss him :p will never miss him.come back dont contact me ever again.do u know how much courage and patience i use each time i face him?lol...

nahhh.these day nothing fun...nothing nice...miss her~ <3~

then lastly~

I HATE U~

H-appy to see U
A-lways miss U so much
T-ake U in my mind
E-veryday I remember U...

Beloved.

2009-12-25T17:53:00.000-08:00

as titled.this post is about my beloved larrrr.hehex.

i liked?loved? you.but i can never make it.i just wish u lived happily for u are so kind.i also duno why i loved u so much.i gave up owning u.bcoz its just IMPOSSIBLE.

haha.just wish u was my friend (until i die) . that will be more than enuf.looking at ur cheerful smile makes me skip a beat.

thank you for being my friend.if we lost contact someday.that day will be more terrible than world end to me. TT loves you.as a friend.wish u would stay by my side.that will be the greatest gift for my bday+christmas. =3

^^

2009-12-22T16:37:00.000-08:00

no more title to write.felt happy~for some reason.

oh ya did mention that kok san san from the time i go listen undang resembles my beloved a lots? =)

my beloved.friends kept on asking me to go go go.but there are also some asking me to let go if it hurts that much.

my conscience told me never to let go unless i really reachED hell.now i like her more and more.like and love was diff.i also duno why i like her so much.her personality?looks?actions?studies?

haha i had no idea.she is someone willing to help without asking for paybacks.soon i will be like u dear. =)

so dear to me.last year...i get 2 bday cake due to some reason.first cake on 23-12-08 when celebrating at times square.first time going out with frens.felt great.

second cake.cell group activity.that one...err...*speechless*

this year if i count it it will be .first cake is on 15-12-09.with friends.second WILL BE on 23-12-09 that i think will be a bday+christmas cake. ><>

tomorrow the actual plan is going genting highland.....cancelled that due to my undang test is on the same day.haha.but later cancelled undang test too,reason is...too lazy la.gimme a break already.bday also need go take exam?lol.

then last option.go celebrate bday with 2 others frens is the best of best choice!! =3

last year there are 6 of us(me included).this year 3 of us. TT . kinda dissapointed.cake increasing.friend decreasing?? ==ll

oh ya the third cake was from daddy.he asked that day "what cake u wanted?" .emm. cake...what i really wan is can u borrow me ur car? lol. dream laaaaaaa.

that will be the third cake.WILL BE=not yet. =3

looking forward to tomorrow~~xixi~

what to do?what to do?just now play uno.people add my cards when i felt guilty of adding theirs.haiz.life is like that de.

u be good others 20% will be good to u.i planned on being a good girl de but now...seems like i need to act before other ppl act eh? =) i dont wan to be the one being hurt anymore!!whatever it takes.

i dont wan to be the naive me who think if i be a good girl everyone will be good to me too.hmph anyone think like that is not other than the NAIVE group. =) i hate that idiots feeling.

this gotta be a long long post. =3

2009-12-20T13:34:00.000-08:00

alright.this is a post about what happened yesterday+today. =)

yesterday woke up at 6.30am(late.actually need to woke at 6am).then prepare and zoom~7am arrived at the driving centre.damn nervous.then went in "sri antara's driving license" that uncle there damn scary.plus the atmosphere then hor silent,cold,gloomy..... ==

my father ask "is mr.choong here ar?" he said "yeah.take license here la!here got jpj sign there cetak rompak punya!!" ==ll.damn u.ask oni no nid use high tone.then went eat nearby @@.i thought we went in the right one then i realize rupa rupa nya itu cetak rompak's title is "mr.choong driving centre" ==ll

what the...that "cetak rompak" is not really the problem.just a nickname xD.well that "cetak rompak" is better MANNER that the one got jpj sign de ==ll.

leng chai summore xD.no la.then when we went in,there is 3 chinese boy,1 indian boy and 1 chinese girl sitting there dy~ahh chinese girl i thought i shud go make fren with her but very nervous plus she looks arrogant ==.then forget about it la ><.

wait for the boss!then went in the car(unser).there is a foreigner there. O.O . haha.then at the last row i sat in the middle. == why me?.like hot dog.ahhh.then one sit one my left is that chinese girl.sit in the middle row is all chinese boys.sit in the row with the driver is indian boy. o.o so syiok o~

then on the way.snore snore~ == the chinese girl beside me just fall asleep.what the?can u really sleep just like that?...i cant >< . sleep on me pulak tuh. ==

the atmostphere in the car = silent! scary la weh.talk something la TT.arrive at nilai.driver:take out ur IC~~then on the way go inside a.k.a in the middle of the road.we heard "negaraku" that chinese and indian boys stand up straight in front of me ==.

then that foreigner also stand up straight beside me (i wonder if she know whats that ==). one more chinese boy stand behind me.that chinese girl already went in.i wonder if she had failed and come take again or she had pass and come listen again bcoz the driver said to her like this "u went in first la.u know liao de hor?... =) "

what the.we are not kids la. TT . heard lagu negaraku still need stand up straight in the middle of the road TT.so malu.then went pass the cafeteria.then stand up "so kang kang"(chinese idiom) in the middle of the registeration centre. ==ll.wait wait........

called out my name.yay~but they rob my rm5 for insurance ==.finally can enter class and listen liao =3

then sat down at an ISOLATED chair xD.know why i called it isolated?bcoz hor.err the class is long long one.xD i mean in the middle part there is 3 chair de.right side 2 chair and left side 1 chair ==. i mean like ... that whole row from up to down is 1 chair de.then in the middle whole row from up to down is 3 chair de.

then a bunch of pasar ppl talk talk talk. ==.the one sit just across me is a chinese girl.looks nice.wanted to say "hi" but malu and damn nervous.so forget it xD.

then the same car with me de guy named "yip kah meng" sat in front of my row of ISOLATED chairs xD i rmb well becoz we got the same middle name.i know it when the instruktor came in and he said "woah why so many ppl?i was told to teach 50 only" ==.i think in my heart "how the hell will i know? =="

ah before this we waited a long long time for him.while i study a bit about roundabout and the simpang 4. =3 it was fun analysing which car goes first and then which.then the instruktor came in.with his fierce face ==.damn scared.*shiver*

he was an indian.oh ya in the class all was form 5,form 4,other,an aunty and an old man.mostly form 5 after spm la.like i said just now he came in and shocked by so many ppl.some without chair de standing there.then he called out name~~and then he said "for those who i dont call names get out of my class!main masuk saja!isk budak sekarang nih"

hmph.and then finally settled down.and he said "hey u orang ah tak boleh duduk satu geng satu geng.saya nak tukar tempat.saya akan tukar tempat dari semasa ke semasa." err in that class got 2 pair of twins chinese boys.a pair cool and a pair cute.woah.lucky~ xD.

and then put me in the middle row and in the middle seat.left is a girl named kok san san (if correct spelling la.and that yip kah meng also duno correct spelling or not xD) .and then right is an indian girl named mega(something) forgot liao la~ xD.i know bcoz the instruktor told us to be fren with the one beside us.

then he said "u all gt the jpj text book ka?" ==ll. i forgot to bring mine.then go buy with san san~xD then hor kena rob rm6 again == nasib baik my father got gimme some money~ ><

and then when masuk class the instruktor stand there.again...with his fierce face.then he asked "oh u two are fren ar?" . we answered "errrr..." then we sat down then he said "owh u two sit togather ka?mana boleh macam itu..." ==ll.XXXX i reli felt damn beh song liao.

so i stand up with my rotten personality and sat down to a place he asked me to.hmph.whatever u ask.i need to face u 2 times only(or maybe once.after u pass P still need to listen once more.but duno if the same instruktor or not jeh.) cheh.change seat mai change lor.scare u ar?its not like i came with fren.

i sit where also alone de lah.blekkkkk~~ then he makes some jokes.like what is P?he asked every one.everyone answered "dont know".then he said "P is...an alphabet!!where did u all study ur tadika?what is P and what P stand for is diff!!" ==

what also u said larrr.==.then many more funny things.and about the road sign.there is a cow sign de.he asked us to take out a pen and change some information about that sign.he said "alright.bila anda lihat sign ini anda perlu perlahankan kenderaan kan?and then u tukar.........u tulis.......kira berapa ekor lembu di situ and then terbangkan seekor" xD .lol everyone laugh like hell.

lol we so serious take out pen and ready to write liao de leh. (or is it me only? lolx.)

and then he said "did u know 10 years ago around ...... got car accident and 28 out of 30 ppl died" then i think how would i care and how would i know when i am only 7? == . then he say to a student "okay awak ialah ketua polis saya ialah pemberita. ketua polis apakah ulasan anda tentang kes ini?"

the student dont know how to answer xD or is it shy?lol.then he said "aiyo dont know ka?apa pun duno.dari pagi tadi tanya apa pun dont know.apalah u orang.okay la u jadi pemberita tanya saya pasal ulasan itu.saya jadi ketua polis." then the student asked.and instruktor answered.

"masih dalam siasatan lar. aiyo itu pun tak tau ka?biasa kan selalu jawab macam itu.siasat siasat sampai 10 tahun satu habuk pun tarak" lol.this one i damn agree.

and then talk about study tiba tiba he said his experience about going korea,china and japan.this three only.aiya no nid u tell i also wan go those 3 country la. ==

he said there damn nice must go.then japan there punya road got vacuum de.but malaysian where do they put the vacuum?in their poket..... == he said what also damn nice one == he even asked us to try alcohol and drugs. #==

the more he said the more he saying malaysian sucks.malaysian this that.....haha but for some reason i 99.9% agree with him. xD

then skip skip skip....until 3pm.wooohooo class finished. xD once again.stand there "so kang kang" to take IC ==ll.then wait ppl gathered.

balik lorr.this time 6 guys and 2 girls ==.i sit infront~yay~i thought very syiok.but hor.....got a laptop there == and i dont wan sit on the laptop and dont wan be so rude to take the laptop to other place. ( i wonder if the indian sat there got that laptop there?==)

then i sit like that for an hours + my waist so damn pain man...erm lalu jusco and carrefour the driving asked "who wan go down from here?i no nid fetch one person xD" == so funny mea? ==.

then hor there is this one chinese boy.looks kinda cute.got introduce himself to me before his name i think is Jack. lol.he was like turn here turn there.until the flat there his voice of direction seems like going fullstop so i thought he lived there...so i din really look at him much.bcoz thats common de.

but it ended up hor...he lived in a damn big house ==.i turn at the back to look at his face *shocked* OMG!(the driver also look at me for a while xD damn malu.) err regretted not taking a picture there.i dont know that place existed.one day u must go and see.around that cheras perdana there.that taman name is taman putra (something) forgot liao leh.i think i will rmb his face for a while now. xD

that place is like mansion.woah.first time see de leh.i wanna take pic de but so malu~ xD . that place is what ppl called "cartoon/cinderella's house" .3 floor.damn big. not only a few there.but more than 30 houses like that i think.woah really nice~~i also wan house like that TT (absolutely dreaming =3)

and then fetch this fetch that.kah meng,an indian boy,a chinese boy and me balik serdang's driving centre there.lol.they all gone back liao.i waited alone for my daddy. TT.

sit there i think of a lots of things.i think of "collect anything u wanted but dont collect demerit points" =3

gone back.slept at 8pm.woke at 12am+ bcoz forgot to switch off my laptop.then woke again at 7am bcoz daddy called for breakfast.......then my normal rountine~~ ahhh. =3 listening undang is something fun if the instruktor is funny~ =3

haiz next wednesday de going out all cancelled ler.undang test more important. xD actually can choose when de. between wednesday,saturday and sunday but i choose wednesday without knowing thats my day~ ><

jya~thats all.

Editted.21-dec.1:52PM.
woah read again and found many mistakes.well i lazy to checked it one-by-one ler.as long as you understand enuf liao. =3

uhhh.

2009-12-10T14:49:00.000-08:00

one more bye bye.to my BH097A073!!i am free from prison xD.

and then one more exam.my license exam.instead of wishing me luck please teach me how to drive(for those who know ler) xD.wishing luck(can also but for junior who duno how to drive xD).

gonna be busy eh?.haha.holiday=go out la!.he he.erm.24 wan go count down at genting wor.23,24&25.like hell i can.i am still tied up.

okay nvm.if parents gonna tied me up until i am 30 then i also nvm la.if they dont wanna let go of their hands now i am gonna be a noobie who does not know anything in the future.

i just wanna go see movie,sing k,ice skating(first time),eat with fren,window shopping and etc~~ xD.

Editted 10:40pm
internet connection damn lag.i waited for 2 hours to download 遇見-stefanie sun ==ll.actually i already had that song.but diff singer.==ll damn.i heard this song in my father car and felt it was so familiar. ==ll.bcoz that song i always hear de.so meaningful.

bye bye.

2009-12-08T17:52:00.000-08:00

need say bye bye to many things and some people too.bye bye shoes,uniform,secondary,skull.....and etc.bye bye to people is my classmate.our path is diff so i dont think i will see them anymore =)

that chance.had grow larger ^^.kai xin~.she had opened herself to me.today make a small cold joke and seeing her smiles make me so happy.tq for bringing light in my life =). i need u.but i dont think our path is the same.

i am sad thinking of giving u up.but...i dont know what to do anymore when it comes to you.i dont wan to leave yet i cant stay so close to you bcoz my desire will grow if u are near me always.

give up?like hell i will.continue? i dont know.if my feeling will hurt u one day then i will willlingly give up and be the one that hurt-ED instead of hurting u,bcoz u are my precious stone.

saaaa.back to the topic.ahhhhh daddy changed his mind AGAIN. == next time he change to let me be a kindergarten teacher again i will definitely grab it and dun wan let it go ==ll.

he asked me to work for him in his office.well there's my brother there.he is already so useful.why need me?rm1500.i felt guilty.what to do?! chikuso...i am not short of money.but if being a kindergarten teacher at puchong make me rugi then its not a WORK anymore.

see?go puchong i need lalu tol,my minyak kereta and many more.plus plus plus also rugi liao la.==ll.its also my dream+earning a bit money+experience.

haiz.today spm student screaming like hell. xD . screaming+raining+thunder+fireworks(damn noisy ==ll)=@@

ahhh so confused now.

hehe.

2009-12-07T17:58:00.000-08:00

how much longer in the future is the one i am waiting for lays?oh my oh my.

i will definitely treasure you.but i wont say "forever". i had no confident in myself.i dont wan to dissapoint ur feelings.

its always ENEMY after lovers.i am afraid.thats why i choose my career.i had decided to work hard for my career.i will work.i felt guilty being a parasite for 17 years.

In This World,There Are People Who Are Naturally Gifted With Things That Others Can't Get No Matter How Much They Want Them Or How Much They're Willing To Pay.

sometimes,when i saw other ppl got something i dont.i might felt a bit envious.but i dont realize that i had something that they dont have.i dont appreciate the things i ownED.

say is more easier that do.i will listen to my heart.act from my heart.until i can no longer take it,i will probably give up.i am loyal to something.for food,career,family,fren(that i had choosen).

for love i dont know la.sometimes they said if u see him/her everyday u can mengeratkan hubungan.but the -ve is that wont u felt sien and then -----> break up?

haha.well i will just think about career and works for now. ^^ bcoz for a friends i liked very much.i am very dissapointed.i wanted her.but she is the one who had choosen xx(another girl) as a best fren.

i damn sad that time.first time i cried for a fren.i will remember that day until i die.last day of form 4.now there is a half chance.xx had choosen another fren.oh dear,choose me.i will loved u until it ends.as a friend.

half chance.duno if i shud grab it or ignore it.

curious curious.

2009-12-01T11:22:00.000-08:00

curious how kids learn to talk?erm.as for me.i had low memory.i duno know how ppl still manage to remember the things happened 10/20/30/40 or mayb 50 YEARS ago de stuff.for me 3 years also more than long long liao.

ok.now all thats left is the twins.physic and chemiiii~~hahax.which = 6 papers = 2 days more.i am hungry now,but now is 11.14 only.

yesterday.still blur blur.rushing for exams.open my cup maggi mee.the water is not boiling(a.k.a the maid forgot to switch it on ^^).FINE!wait wait wait.6.50am liao.wait?the hell i will.

eat 2 pieces of biscuit.DONED!GONE!to school of course.

at school,in exam hall.hungry~sleepy~paper2~ (x_x)zzz <---me.paper 1 after eat a chocolate roti(which cost me o.60cent damn it.i buy at mini market 0.50cent only). (~^^~) <--- me when doing paper 1.

ah ha.next door is renovating.i hate those sound of screw(gauge?) duno la.bang bang bang bang bang. == . enuf la.when my house under renovation.i am FORCED to hear it for two WHOLE month (or more i think).

kindegarten part time dream = broke!!daddy said CANNOT!! TT sobs.its useless.i dont wanna earn back my daddy's money plus i wanna go outside world,away from my little world.just let me experience the cruelness of society.for it not then i wont learn.

ahh.christmas.in a blink of eyes.i love u~quick come.hmm.~~~hungry~~cya~

dui.

2009-11-16T10:54:00.000-08:00

tsk.reli stress ler.haha i always think of blogging...IN MY DREAMS.

ah hah.yesterday after breakfast go see houses.that remind me of future.future huh.umm.future.what will my

career? ---> linked with business / anime?

house? ---> what the?

car? ---> .....@@

family? ---> tikus kat rumah saya. #==

my dreams.

-kindergarten teacher xD (part time)

-learn piano(or other instrument but daddy said its USELESS)

-earning money(part time)

tsk.something annoyed me these days.my fren said something like this 'weh u wan study business ar?ur account/counting skill so TERUK' .damn it.no need so direct la.well if i got the will i will do it anyway.

and then.hm.2 days more only.sej is killing me.sej is useless.if i study business why i need sej?except for when i am selling artifact or something like that.

friends.this year 5sc3 i thought it would be a complete hell.but nvm since i gt 2 great fren xD.and then others was reli hell.

talk about friends.i dont intend to make new friends.i am scared of betrayal.you could call me a coward.betrayal.hurt.pain.sorrow.sad.

oh ya.my spm's feng shui seat.infront indian.behind indian.left side a super notty malay guy.upsr,pmr and now spm why do i had fate with indians?i reli anti them lor to be frank.not becoz skin colour.skin colour is something that cannot be changed.its their personality.disgust me.touch here touch there.

isk.but since my life was like hell now.i am expecting something good to happen.its always a cycle.but more like this 1 day of happiness=10++ days of hell.~

oh ya.i need a punching bag.but nvm i think ioi fitness centre there got one eh?.ahhh.study study.so less reli enter my brain.see ya~

do my best ~weird but i felt full of confident leh.from where leh?hmm.

2009-09-30T22:21:00.000-07:00

i wish you would come to mie..but that was only a wish.

set me free ... today a lot happens ... i got no mood to eat ... i skip my lunch ... for dinner,because i am eating with my father..thats why i need to but i ate a little ..

this slogan is what i always said when i was form 1..

he gave me a miserable life after that..everyday i wanted to see him but he kept on ponteng-ing..

if i promise not to kill you...can you suicide?

i might say this even now..i regret it..today i saw him..so close..he said "excuse me" while riding his bike..that time i am wearing my spec so i saw it very CLEAR.before i know it was him who said it i just let him go with the thought "where are u rushing to? =="

and after that i only realize that he did it on purpose..remembering my past was so hurt..but can we still be friend as i had said?can we?can i press down my feelings?can i make anything possible?can i?

everything start today morning..2am..i was scared and cried..why?why i need to suffer?crying is usual to me..but..2 am..i heard stomping footstep from my father's room..running up and down..i felt scared..coz i know something had happened..the atmosphere that time was scary and tense and cold.

hospital pantai.i hate you.i dont even wish to visit u because of bad things again.althou its my birth place but i still hate you.

today like usual going skull..but with mixing feelings.raindrops covers my teardrops.i did something awfully stupid AGAIN this morning.i bought my mc with me but its rainig so i slip it in my physic practical text book.

then i pass up all my text books la.and then after rehat,after all books has been return, only i realize that my mc.....it not i hand it to class teacher or not..what i worry i my name on it ==

after that..its adm..yesterday also got adm but teacher din give the exam paper why??!!why today ??why when i came to school you give out??!!why din u give it yesterday??fully despressed why i think of my friend pitying me..and stepping on me..

after all this rubbish there is more..but i will start with my good ones.. today..kept daydreaming..oh ya..when he called me that time i was with my malay fren(that super nice one)..she said "ooohh you...." haha i guess she can tell by the face of his..

he make a very cute face..and she kept on saying he was cute == haiz.we had NO MORE chances.that makes my heart race so i dont deny i like him.that make me almost langgar kereta ah == i din concetrate on road ><>

these days i realize this while helping my mom cooking..being a MOTHER was NOT EASY.they cook,do laundry, and most of all TAKING CARE OF BRATS.if its good kid nvm but mostly is bratssssss.

also other good thing is i maintain some of my emotions by reading comics..not mine..i finished it a bit slower than usual because my friend kept asking my this and that so i read it again and again ==

and then..hmm..i get duit raya from mamoru~~this one is the best thing..this is the second duit raya i get..i means malay de la..first is when i was standard 5 or 6..get from school de..

umm..then go home..skip lunch(but i drank a glass of ribena =) ).do something.do something.online.do something.facebook-ing.sleep.wake up.eat.sleep.online. *this is what i did everyday == but today with mixed emotions*

ohhh come to think of it..mayb i laugh too much yesterday..its always like that ..one day i laugh too much i will had many miserable days..its FAIR.

hey i realize i really does like mamoru and izumi(as friend) this is real feelings..not funny at all.they din mind to help others,good manners,without counting who correct and who wrong,always smiling..and etc..i really does love them!! they are the best!!

just now saw a video about drivers..accidents..then first thing come in my mind is "u wan die go home suicide.dont take other ppl with you!dont make more innocent ppl go die with you.i dont wish to be one or neither do i wish u to be the one.life has NO "TAKE TWO"

the same thing i will said for smokers,and others..

end here..

StrEsS

2009-09-18T22:35:00.000-07:00

i felt more stress compared to when i am taking my spm trials..why?mie holiday also need so stress?erm the going out thing and my jealousy level grows..plus my anger for about 3+ people..

hating someone makes me felt tired..jealousy makes me angry..angry makes me hate..hate makes me tired..tired makes me more hate that person..

i felt so close to you but yet so far away..i am sad+emo+angry+jealous+etc..what can make me happy?...i also dunno..my feeling now is complicated..i felt like crying and shouting out loud..but now is night lor..

i felt sad..something is in my heart that i cant talk about..only him..but we broke up..we din contact for 2 month..if can i wish he NEVER show up or call me to remind this sadness again..my heart is breaking..

how i wish i could cry out loud now..i felt terrible with the mixing of all negative feeling..

=)

2009-08-25T14:18:00.000-07:00

爱爱爱爱了几回

也明白其中滋味

付出的从来不会等于收回

我却还在等待着谁能出现

伤伤伤伤了几回

也曾经为爱憔悴

爱情里好人总比坏人狼狈

我却还是学不会狠心对谁

男人男人多希望你是好人

多希望用你的真让我不必再心疼

女人女人我答应做个好人

我答应用我一生来换你的快乐一生

爱爱爱爱了几回

也明白其中滋味

付出的从来不会等于收回

我却还在等待着谁能出现

伤伤伤伤了几回

也曾经为爱憔悴

爱情好人总比坏人狼狈

我却还是学不会狠心对谁

男人男人多希望你是好人

多希望用你的真让我不必再心疼

女人女人我答应做个好人

我答应用我一生来换你的快乐一生

男人男人多希望你是好人

多希望用你的真让我不必再心疼

女人女人我答应做个好人

不会再让我(你)心疼一等再等

你就是我等的那个人

男人男人

女人女人

多么希望你是对的人

...

2009-08-21T19:41:00.000-07:00

today so many happens so many forgotten..erm..like always(not always la sometimes) gossip bout other ppls XD..erm today exam moral lor..then when math enjoy chatting + studying with teacher and some fren i like (izumi chan a.k.a. faathimah + mamoru-chan a.k.a. asykin and banana-chan a.k.a tamarai and me a.k.a. saru-chan) haha..

the names is kinda cute hoho~..

i got many with the name karen..first of all carrot then current(I),voltage,kayang..ahh whatever..then ummm today beh song ppl talk bad about me when they are not perfect ><

erm..the time we study math,we also chat..i am so shocked to know izumi has 18 siblings..OMG!i was like "what the hell?!!" if it were me i had dies a long time ago..she had a step mother who was very garang one..sob pity her leh..hey i am serious here!!i dont pity her because wanna show i am kind..i really felt terrible when she said it..

i was even more worried when she said it with a calm face like nothing..well i supposed she had already fine with the situation..but still..........its hurting me..i felt sad.....why someone who was kind like dat need to suffer like this while bad ppl live wealthy!!thanks..i hate you!!

ppl i am interested in..duno why lately i felt very interested in some ppl..erm start with prince issac..whom i found in facebook..he was like a girl so cute..and i am interested because his status state.."in relation with Prince Danson"..erm i din mean to start with him well i got many fren behind and i scare i forget him later..

now start with my frens..only 2 lor..izumi and mamoru..they are so kind even thou i am just a fren of their erm starting from this year..i really like them..as fren la..they are the most humble and kind i have ever met..99.9 perfect..i really hope we can keep the frenship after graduate bcoz i had grow very fond of them...

i like them very much..even thou they are malays but their personality better than any of my chinese fren.. == i just terus terang..if i were to seperate from them i think i would be so hurt..izumi give a feeling to u like u wanted to protect her..

and then now for teachers..erm from form 1 i like..erm..

sej teacher - pn karpakam..she was gorgeous

science-en tan..because always play no nid study de..but i still score above 60 that time n_nv

moral-pn choong..she was so nice..BACK THEN..

bm-pn.siti mariam..nice teaching..gave us a lot hmwork..sometime feel very relax..

seni-pn...i forgot the name..but definitely not khairus and zareen == my seni teacher was the

best of these 3..seriously..thats why my seni always score above 70..

erm my memory is low..i think thats all for form 1..now form 2..

science-pn..aiya i forgot..i think pn nor......haiz i malas check majalah sekolah la..her teaching skill also very nice..i rmb i score 82 beat danny who score 81..haha..that time i very playful..love to play with my class de chinese guy..they all nice BACK THEN..

moral-pn choong...still same..

form 3

bi-pn azlin..super nice..i like her..erm my pmr result score A in bi..thx to her..

math-pn normalizam..also very nice..she make us rmb our square,cube,sifir,polygon's side and many more..and i score A for pmr as well XD i never thought that o..when i saw my pmr result math A very happy and shocked

bm-pn siti mariam..again..the same

form 4

chemi-pn puteh..cute,nice and great teaching skill

bio-pn zubaida..same as my chemi teacher..

moral-pn rohaida..also very nice

form 5

math-pn jamaah..she very nice..

physic-pn tuan nor asiah..also very cute and nice..

bi-pn ismariah..nice..

bio-pn norma..quite strict but nice teaching

erm thats all gua..other not interested/hated..especially moral form 3..erm there are also some i would like to see but never teach me..they said pn roseffin and pn faizulizami was nice..but i duno about that..

today moral that suren very noisy..i said something i dont wan to..this is what i said "suren shut up la..*then i said something very rude ><

hmm~

2009-08-19T12:53:00.000-07:00

i love writing romance story..hmm i came up with one yesterday..it was just some sketch and imagination thou..erm i think of this while thinking of him..lately whatever i drew always(86%) ends up to be his face ==

erm the story was like this..there was a boy and girl in their standard 5..their first encounter was introduced by friend..their second coincidence encounter was when they went to a party..then they became fren and then best fren who shared everything..the boy's study was good while the girl's was very very poor..

then girl was good at the topic about love and the guy has no idea about love..then the have a deal..the deal was that the guy teach the girl about studies and the girl teach the guy about love and how to attract and confess..after a long time they realize they both fell for each other..

everything makes the guy easier to confess because the girl told him about love,her ideal and etc..they share everything making they understand each other very well..they went on very well.....bla bla bla..

mayb i think of writing this story about marriage and then divorce and THE END but that was like cruel..

i forgot how to love 3 years ago..i just care but i dont love..yesterday morning chat with a fren(can considered la) much more older than me de..a guy..erm..chat about he broke up with his gf..so i talk a lot to encourage him..this thing is so complicated i hate it..i wan ask izit really okay to sleep with ur gf?

then when after back yesterday damn angry..saw 2 bitches with makes me so angry..i hate them like without guys will die..one always trying to get guy's attention and one more like always wan a guy by her side..go die la! i hate bitch..

then one of my fren said.."ur class ar?"..erm this was a private question..well in my class if chinese i only like one chinese's personality only lor..then haha i post on my facebook la..and that person whom i chat to yesterday morning said something to encourage me too..then i said "i will try but it wont work on me" then he said "we both same la..only know how to saybut hard to do"

ya i totally agree with that but his case was diff..i can do 89%about forget about my bf..or should i say i hate complicated things that i avoid my body from..

hoho~

2009-08-13T18:08:00.000-07:00

sometimes felt very angry from ppl copy and paste something thats urs and get commented for their's..== what da hell..these day still sick sick..that saturday..fever..damn!..

today go skul saw bastard..i wish that bastard never to appear before me again..

somemore..in facebook..there are friend who u know and view ur profile but din add u..its rude..if u dont wan add dont go view la..thats different for u dunno de ppl..but u know de ppl viewed ur profile and din add u == and dont add ppl who u dont meant to..

talking about attitude..i get along well with shy and normal ppl..i hate bitch and arrogant ppl..for those bitch who cant shuddup i even more hate!good breed of parents always produce good breed of child..so this blame their parents!

that saturday was my friend's bday..erm..i think of this when she ask for expensive present..is present about the price?then why dont u just gave him/her money instead?..

its better dont give rather than giving not sincere rite?so i dont like ppl i dont like giving me present because i MUST repay that..but if it was someone i like then with pleasure..

｡◕‿◕｡

sad~~

2009-08-08T22:22:00.000-07:00

haiz..why these day my body like tau fu de..i hate it..before 2009 i was a very lively child..i rarely fell sick..but now..always sick..that day allergic also nvm la..today morning..very happy thought i will go out with friends to buy books and celebrate their birthday..

so as always..go eat breakfast..so damn unlucky..first of all..the milo ais there...buy milo ais free nyamuk..== go die!!second..the pork mee worker has problem with hearing..then nvm lor..

balik rumah..still happy..but a bit stomach pain..haiz always de la..so beria-ria go take my cloth for going ioi~~suddenly..my leg felt no energy to walk..i felt dizzy..i felt my head was burning..so i went to my mother room ask her check..she said "ur heartbeat was fast go eat pils"

this make me scared..u know..i always sore throat,cough and flu..but rarely got fever..now fever+flu+cough+dizzy..what the hell..like h1n1 symtom..then when i think back it was like..not so ngam ba..baru pagi makan pork mee..then kena swine flu??damn..

tired~~

2009-08-02T21:02:00.000-07:00

hmm found two word these day in other language that i felt so meaningful ^^ thats "Que Sera Sera" i search it because i saw my fren wrote it in my class's black notez..the other is "hakuna matata"..this was because today my nephew came over to play and they watch tv..

so it reminds me of when i watched lion king..hakuna matata..then these day damn sick..mayb will post some pictures later..now after i lived for 16 years and about 7 months baru i know what am i allergic to..haix..damn Mega clinic!!

that day(last friday) like always went to skul..then i cough on the last 3rd period thats math..and i took some cough and flu medicine so i saw the antibiotic and since i took the two then i should took antibiotic too rite?

so i took it..after few SECONDS..damn..i felt burning..itchy..i thought it was nothing..then dunno why pressure from pn charanjit who came in suddenly scolding the boys for stealing something(i duno..they said it was lencana sekolah or something ==)

when she came in i felt pressure and thus increase my temperature..hot!!then my fren suddenly.."karen borrow rubber...are u crying??" what the hell..i wont cry suddenly okay?..==

i felt weird so i ask why?she said "ur ears and eyes are red!" what the hell..i felt it was weird..then the one sat beside me said "yalar" then i answered "no i just scratch it a little"

few SECONDS more..i felt my head spining,burning and felt like something was pushing up to my head..i felt dizzy..suddenly my face all red..i felt terrible..this experience was more painful than any disease before..

is this a punishment from God?..haiz..dunno why felt like these all weekend also busy..weekend is supposed to be my rest time!!! ==

zzz

2009-07-27T11:13:00.000-07:00

hahax..these days..here are the question i answered and then question i asked..first ppl like to ask me ponteng ar?..hahax its not like a rare thing..

and second is when i go LAWAT doctor..*evil grin*

result..

eat this..==..that red bottle scared me..red=danger/blood..oh yeah the two tablets on left is small but the one on right is so big nia~~ TT but nvm i had taken more big one before..

my fren once asked me "ei u are tau fu ar?" ~~~ haix..see ah..hmm the black bottle is for cough then the yellow pil for flu and kahak then surat cuti(^^) then fever pil and lastly the red bottle..duno what izit..just drink it XD mati lebih cepat la..

on the red bottle just wroted 1 cup 3 times ==

then i ask doctor lor..why no gimme antibiotic?know what is the answer?.."u took too much" what the..but if i look back i really did..i took a lot kind of antibiotic and MANY TIMES of those pils..

i had already biasa with taking pils..basic pils like flu,cough,headache,fever and etc..ei the above pils..when i think of it..why izit like h1n1 symtoms de?==

haiz..so malang la!!!!!!!!!

there are 3 thing disamping i wanted to say thats

if u dont like answering question then u also not supposed to ask question!!
STOP telling me RUBBISH,i DONT need it..i only TRUST wat i SAW by my own eyes..
and lastly if u would like to gossip other ppl..then look in the mirror first or shud i lent u one if u are so poor?..look at ur shit face before u started gossip bout other ppl..

even if u are pretty/beautiful u are not SUPPOSED to gossip or talk bad about other ppl!!they are none of ur *beep*ing business..

even if u are a beauty if u owned a black heart what does ur face means?for u to became a whore?oh yeah..ur *beep* face makes me wanna puke/vomit..i dont like ur act..

Past..

2009-07-15T17:50:00.000-07:00

i am phobia of many thing..i am scared..i had a lot of fear..fear to/of:

look
explain
hear
understand
touch
experience
being included
look behind
love
being love
hate
being hated
being jealous
being greedy
make friends
pain
fear of school
being look down
being betrayed
being hurt
remembering my past
hurting ppl
making ppl in pain

and many more....i had too much to fear..its because of him dat i felt myself step over this all pain and fear..but now its over..i dont know how long can i stand straight coz its over..last saturday i found a ring that he gave me..i cried but i felt happy in the same time..

this ring i wanted to find it a long time but always say "later" when we are still together but now its over and this ring......i will kept it..as a memory of my pain..now this all pain and fear step over me..i dont know what to do..

i am sorry..now that i realize i liked him too much..he is caring..and sometimes i felt he was annoying thou..now i know that i liked him..i will........kept on being "saudara angkat" with him..

i had a habits of liking old things...to those old thing i wont forget(70% pain memories)..i cried everyday for now..i.....i dont wish to look back..i wish to look forward..today is another bad day but i am glad..because eveytime i had fun then...i also meant i will suffer many days..

i will treasure the ring..this ring now stand for our in-law-ship(saudara angkat)..everything in the past i hoped he forget it..because the past me was terrible than how terrible i am now..i will also start to forget about old memories..

my memory card was not very big so if u ask me yesterday's stuff i can still answer you but if u ask me something like over a month ago mayb i cant answer u..these day i saw him in skul(another one) i turn away from him and walk a different path so that i wont see him face-to-face..

we agree on being friends but it still hurt..its hurting me inside because i dont know whether he is sincerely being my friend or he is just making fun of me..i am scared..because of the past i dont dare to look forward and i got phobia against some guys..

now shud i clean all the memories and used a new one?although it wont be 100% clean..it will take a very very very long time to forget sad memory..

zzzzz

2009-07-12T14:44:00.000-07:00

aiya..these day damn bad luck..hmm i will start with the day i go "fun day"..well first of all i beh song walking in the storm(erm hiperbola?yeah)to get in ioi..then on waited for my friend's younger brother for around 30 minutes..==

haiz..then later encounter some 38(sampat) girl..felt damn terrible..then go home nia??~~of cuz go back ioi and walk around the jambatan to the other side ALONE(first time lor~~) zzz..then arrive the other side waited more than 30 minutes bcoz my father go buy dinner ==

aikzz..go back sleep..zzz

and next is last friday..u know i will remember these day forever(friday 10-7-09 and saturday)

know wat?i hate it so much !!now i will say bout friday..first of all worried about my sej,then kena cubit by my chemi teacher TT i cant help it wat..then later on got some more happens..

and when i came back from skul and nothing happen then at night i realized i left my sej long man at skul TT so how am i goin to do it?i end up calling my friend asking the essay question..it took me rm30+1 hour time+my energy..damn it..i learnt a lesson..

then i slept at more than 3am for friday because wan finish my sejarah essay TT..first time so late nia~~~my latest wake up time was 4pm..== hahax that day chat about this..erm i skip my supper+breakfast+lunch replaced with dinner == more menjimatkan XD

erm then saturday..one-day-maid-service-without-paid == hahax..i had fun with my friend..ummm..there was one thing i was angry on lor..i planned on getting my book for the struktur question but the i encounter..

first two teacher..pn asadah(duno la) and pn norjah..so i asked for the key to form 5 gate..they said in office and bla bla bla..kesian hui ying XD i asked her to accompany me..

then arrive at pejabat..incredibly silent..see lala playing computer == this is what i hate now..u see when i talk with her with full manner,she answer what u know?..damn her..she said "u are not SUPPOSED to be here and u are NOT SUPPOSED to go up too" go die!she said in a very high tone and like sindiran..

the no mood but then when come back from skul go eat sushi..so nvm la..sushi good good~~

aiks then got more forgot jor..becoz just now do the 100 truths on facebook and then make card for my daddy's bday ^^

well i do think all this is because i had too much fun the day before TT

news!!

2009-07-01T14:09:00.000-07:00

120,000 picked for next NS

BIDOR: Some 120,000 youths born in 1992 have been randomly chosen to take part in next year’s national service camp.
National Service Training Depart-ment director-general Datuk Abdul Hadi Awang Kechil said they were chosen from a pool of 500,000 youths.
“They can start checking their status at 11am today,” he said yesterday after opening a national service training at the Nilam Ehsan Camp here.
To check using SMS, type “PLKN (space) SEMAK (space) identity card number” and send to 15888. Each SMS costs 20sen.
Further details can be obtained at www.mysms.gov.my. Alternatively, one’s status can be checked at www.khidmatnegara.gov.my.
“The list of names have been uploaded,” said Hadi.
http://www.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/7/1/nation/4230035&sec=nation

copy from today's The Star..www.thestar.com.my

wah yesterday i checked already but some human say it might be lied so today after see this news go check again and the result was stil the same..

lol my fren said "kena toto also not that tepat ah!!" lol..i dont know why ppl are so over the death of MJ..== i am not his fans so i had no feeling

its annoying seeing ppl take about him everywhere..friendster,facebook,msn,my space,blog and everywhere ==

now my fren had stop talk about it and start with the NS thinggy..

quick quick if u are 92---- go check it now.. using sms type PLKN(space)SEMAK(space)(ic number) send to 15888

things happened today..

2009-06-22T17:39:00.000-07:00

today actually very lazy to blog but without blog i cant remember my memories..first of all is about HSM3 senior year..i just watched it(haha so out date huh?)yeah actually planned to watch it december/jan(i forgot..dat time go with my frenz..time square(i think) then found out HSM3 no jor so we watched bevery hill's chihuahua..it was fun..)..

there was a phrase that i like the most..its dat when Troy tolds Gabriella that "My prom is where ever you are"..awww sweet...so nice of him.. ^^ i think pupus jor la this kind of guy..and his eyes are very Marvelousz..

hmm when think about prom..my skul got one..ummm..make by my skul mates(not my fren,they are from 5sc1)..then i think i would go if that person who collects money din go lor..i better go with the one i like la..and the second problem duno who to go with..

and plus i would NEVER torture myself by goin out with the one i dont even like..i like everyone EXCEPT arrogant ppl..i cant stand them..i can be extremely kind to those who are kind and extremely cruel to those........

next about skul..today in skul there are thing to discuss..first about smoking and then the flu..uhm..actually i think its stupid!!yeah h1n1..u see its better to stop producing the rokok better than putting some organs picture on it..see?its stupid work of stupid human..

then h1n1..i wouldn mind if the skul is closed..but sebaliknya i will be really really happy..first bird flu then pig flu later?ant flu.....then chicken,vegetable,fish,insect,duck and cats flu...damn..

just now saw some of my facebook's fren picture..so pretty in malacca..wish i would go lovey dovey with my special one ^^(isn it too early to daydream?)

then think of going to amusement park with him too ^^awww...

hmmm..just now..5 minutes ago received a phone call from my ex..aiz u know i would hurt more if u keep calling..but if u dont keep calling i would always run from the fact that i broke up with u..so this is the best way to kept our 5 years relationship..but it hurt me so bad..

back to the point..first he missed called me then i think what important business izit?..later he called me again..he asked "izit ok?" ..what??then when i think about it i think he is talking bout some skul has been closed bcoz of h1n1..

oh ya today in skul too..tiba-tiba my bm teacher suddenly ask us to bersih kelas and i am monday..damn u!!other day u dont ask!!then when i go return the penyapu to 5sc4 kena pick a fight by a chinese guy..i dont know him!!he was like "what was u doing!!??" who the heck are u to scold me?!!

then i said "its ok"..he said "i'm relieved..tell me if anything happen"..hmmm why did i felt that when we were together u are also like diz now we broke up and u are STILL like diz??the reason i broke up with him are..........he is too caring..i SHOULD ALWAYS AND FOREVER bless him with his beloved..wish they lived happily ever after.. :)

BitCH

2009-06-19T15:47:00.000-07:00

really felt stress+sad+dissapointed..i have a lot of problem..i dont like hyperactive human that hurts me..

today get to know something about that bitch..she is just 100% bitch..i tell u..first of all this was something happen..this bitch msn A(A is B's fren) and said she still has feeling for B so A ask B to make up with her la..

and then later is valentine..B gave her something..and that bitch said "yer so ugly la!!" almost everyday..damn u..do u have parents?do ur parent have manner?and lastly do u have manners?i think u 100% no MANNERS bitch!!

then one more thing is dat..they broke up after valentine..u know wat she said?she said "i just wan someone to accompany me for valentine only..duno why guys like her looks..but INSIDE she is just as BLACK AS SHIT!!(i think shit is better)

yeah i could tell she is 68% pretty..but a lot guys in my school like her..why ar?

i really hate bitch like her!!go die la!!

...

2009-06-16T18:41:00.000-07:00

another damn day..curse those pig..the picture for the class thing i failed to take it coz the table has already rearraged nicely but stil looks like...................==

damn it..i also failed to find the culprit..damn nvm..this is my lesson..i wont do something so careless and i wont trust pig..

today at skul i was damn angry bcoz of adm marks..then when back home my father din give me keys and din unlock the door..so i just go to my father's shop..on the saw a really bullshit lorry and a s hole black car..i din wear spec so cant see the car's number..

damn..that black car still wan to go in even though there is a big lorry on the way out..and one more,bullshit lorry so piggy..u know that road is very very very very sempit!!u stil go in and out there?then when i think this..then how is he going to deliver the stuff mayb..damn it u can use a smaller van..no need a LORRY..damn u..

black car no brain+bullshit lorry=damned..

but all of this the conclusion is.....damn police..the job i hate the most is police..u can guest it why..I NEVER HAD GOOD VIEW FOR POLICE EVER SINCE I AM FORM 1 thats also why i hate novel bukit kepong!!

after that in skul was a BIT funny la..my fren told me a joke like this...

there was a couple..a far distance one..they always chat through sms..then its almost hari raya(duno she said they are malays..why ar?i wonder) then the girl ask the guy to come over for open house..then the two day before then girl stop replying the guy..

then on hari raya the guy is at the girl's home but the girl din show up..then the guy mets the girl's parent and he asked where is the girl..her parents told him that she died 5 years ago in a car accident..

the guy din trust them and her parent showed him her corpse and he still din believe it..so..when the guy went home..he sms the girl and said

"your parents told me that u had died 5 years ago"

she said "yes" and the guy said "then why u can sms-ing with me now??"

and guess what she answered??

she said "kerana digi berada di mana-mana"

*i almost felt like == when i heard that and i laugh non stop until i step out of skul ==*

there is stil continue..then he asked her "then why u din reply me two days before hari raya?"

and she answered "becoz i din top up"

sorry la i cant remember exactly what she said la..

and then before this we played some teka teki..here is one..why when nyamuk bited u,ur skin get red?

the answer is........becoz they wore lipstick..

so cold ahhhh==

damn bastard(pork)

2009-06-14T21:33:00.000-07:00

oh today really angry..at night i call my fren ask about the yuran..about this yuran really would like to kill the bastard..they pick yuran on january then now once more??damn la :@

then she said about our class..this really make me go crazy..she said "our class has become so dirty and upside down"

damn i am gonna sue that class if i know who did it..i will see it tml..which babi duno how to use table..before holiday our class was like this

under my creation and work..damn those babi..later i will post the "NOW"s photo..nasib baik she said it was pa/p class student who did it..damn..really angry..u see i put my heart into adjusting this class..

and now being violated by babi..and become kandang babi..DAMN!!XXXX!!bastard!!know how much WORK DONE i put into working on this??!!

i put my heart into it..and i felt a little angry when this din become the best class..that i stil can say nvm..but it is too much to violated something other ppl make..babi no mother teach ar??!!

haiz..

2009-06-01T16:27:00.000-07:00

hmmm so long din blog eh?

well these day a lot happen..everytime when i online i plan to blog but it always end up with other activity like playing pet society..

ah about this pet society..u better have time to play it EVERYDAY..geez..if not u will get dissapointed(well duno u la..but i am) because ur pet will be kicked down(i mean the rank will get lower)

after pet society i will download game then download download and download..then i will check msn contact and delete UNIMPORTANT BASTARD..which kept emailing me stupid email and website..

then continue with adjusting desktop..then i will refresh my phone song with the song i download..then times up and i gotta go home..

then when i am home its always "aiya forgot to blog"..haiz..then i malas to say the old thing la..erm do u like ppl touching ur stuff?i hate it..

and do u like ppl asking u to call them??well its damn annoying right?especially when its a girl to girl..damn her..why do i wan to call u?she always said "hey my phone no credit..call me plz" like hell..do u think my phone got credit for person like u??

i hate it..haiz why am i always so bad luck?if i could get shoo yuen as my best fren..but i had giv up on her..because she belongs to another girl(sorry i am not.....) just best fren la..

just now dat girl that always ask me to call her also always using other ppl..well like this..

-her money NEVER go out and

-always ask ppl to belanja her

damn it la..why the hell i need to pay for u?u are not anyone special..except for shoo yuen la..(once more i remind u i am not....)

erm then..PLKN..if u got read new paper dunno last saturday or sunday la..there is a lot of rubbish in that newspaper..rubbish refer to PLKN..

== dunno which bastard nothing to do then create this PLKN thing..i hate it..damn..

damn..

2009-05-09T14:12:00.000-07:00

haha moral folio haven finish..damn it i hate doin moral folio..i curse the one who create this idea to do folio WITH PICTURE to die(if he/she is..i wish he/she never reborn..if already reborn then i curse him/her to be sad FOREVER)..

i dont care doin folio but the picture was damn..u see its not like i can find anyone to take for me..if i am like my fren got a mother who was willing to help or little siblings..i am the youngest among my family relative?i think so...duno la..

talk about relative..i hate one of my father sibling..his whole family(his wife and daughter too..his son is still okay..because i rarely talk to him..or shud i say i NEVER talk to his son before??)

yeah i hate his whole family..he is a cheapskate,arrogant,like s hole and his wife is like s hole too and his wife is even a bitch..

lets see..if one of his family die i would wish to my father that "i DONT wan to visit them or go to their funeral"

so geram ah..just now he came to do some business(and he done something cheapskate before ==) i dont want to be rude so i called him "uncle" and he din respond!!go die la!!even the teacher in skul answer by a nod(really??!!no its not..dah nama chuan teacher mana ada angguk punya..just some teacher la)

hey use brain and think this..i called u "uncle" is not because i scare u..its because i respect my father,i dont wan ppl say my father no teach me manners and i respect him as my uncle..

damn it i will NEVER call him again..i will call him FXXXer if u wan..

okay stop this talk bout teacher..damn..u see one of my wish is also to be teacher..the job i hate the most is police..not because i scared to die but for some reason they really does irritated me..annoying!!

teachers..i dont like teachers too..but i wan to be one because..i know i can be a better teacher than mine now!!

talk bout future..lately my father said "kah yan..u better learnt business before u work 4 me"..umm i have think about it..erm..u see if i study business then i can be a part time and learnt piano at the same time??i even think about this..

morning:business classes

evening:part time job

night:piano lesson

hmmm...how dreamy...this all are my wish..but i'm always an unlucky child so God will never give me such perfect life..go dream bah..

haha talk bout my father..hmmm i think all parents really does understand their child huh??but not completely though..ummm u see dat day(i think last thursday..when got that damn pameran thing in my skul..and i hate my fren) so i just silent myself..

on the same time that day my fahter same late..then when reach home i kept myself in my room and then slept..until night..my fahter ask "dont wan eat ar??" i said "dont wan..."..actually really dont wan eat la..no mood..

then my father thought i merajuk becoz he came late to pick me up today..haha but then tmr(Labour day?yeah i think so well its friday)..i woke up and felt really sick..and then go eat (still silent with some cough)

then my father asked "what happen yesterday??teacher scold?(no way i am not a bad student..*grin* haha mayb some la..i am kinda rebellious)fight with fren??"(haha i have NEVER think he can get it right..not fight just argument..

i am a kid who get mad at a lot of thing la..==

then he said "if got anything happen say la!if u silent up how i shud know o??" haha so nice..

then talk about yesterday i saw him again and again..hey now dat i know u see from form 2 i din see him much..but this year i saw him TOO much??haha..yeah yesterday no class also saw him..what i meant by no class is after skul..

sob after skul my fren left me T.T but nvm la..i duno she left so i search for her..then on the way back i saw him from second floor(pejabat there to the dataran there)

and he is like moving his hand(means bye) so i also move my hand(we din even talk for years..3 years?yep around..)

haiz..its annoying but i wont try to forget him..now that i know if i try to forget him i love him more and i try to search for him everyday ==

and i even tried to avoid him everywhere and each time i saw him..when he move his hand for a "hello" to me when we meet i just reply him..its rude and arrogant not to respond..i am not a noble or a genius so i cant have those arrogant side..

erm usually thrusday i will saw him on the was back from chemi lab coz his class(5p2 is there) haiz..then i would saw him too when i go bio or physic lab..and even my class this year is the opposite to his..

i like hangging around corridor when teacher is not in class or i'm boring..that time i might saw him and if i saw him i try to avoid and TERPAKSA sit quietly and be gud girl in class..becoz no mood to stand around the corridor jor..

i love the corridor breeze..it felt good..

hmmm what a long blog ^^

didi dada...$%^&&^%$%^&

2009-05-04T15:01:00.000-07:00

arg damn...too bu shuang..

hump..do u ever felt of betrayED??yes yes i hate dat feeling but its i'm USED to it and familiar with it..

geez...just last thursday that damn skul(i hate my skul..damn hate)..yeah dat damn skul has a pameran for the high skul thinggy..i hate it..

damn all student are going there to take the bullXXXX-free-bag.. ==

arg..the more i talk bout this the more i'm angry..what i am angry is not this bullshit..its dat my rubbish(friend??) just go crazy herself..

yes!i pick rubbish as my best fren(worst than that?exactly.. =) )

and then last week(or mayb last two week) go visit my standard 1 skul(sk batu 14??i think so)..yeah so happy..the memories..and dat skul din change much inside just they rebuild the fence thinggy and change the paint but inside the tapak perhimpunan was still the same..

ahhh so happy..then i get to see a room inside there(i just peek from outside the fence-the one you could not see inside one...while my father buy yong tau foo there ^^)

oh ya dat room..then i think what room is dat??oh ya i think its the bilik kesihatan..coz dat time is the most scariest "suntikan" time T.T

yep i still remember how we all need to take off the white shirt only(??? izit real??i duno kinda dreamy..==)

haha..so sweet then i get an image of my class in the far far far back room..haiz..cannot see clearly just can agak agak see lor..

then suddenly a friend from dat skul appear..and it remind me of a friend of mine when i was form 1..he is nice but kinda gangster..so what??i am in 1 k after all..the third-last class ^^ (ones always mintak duit perlindungan xp not me mintak..me is mangsa buli T.T)

then ok last tuesday saw him straight face-to-face..luek..the feeling was awkward U.U

after him is him..the he call "wei" or "ei" so i look back(stupid me) then he smile..and i smile back(more stupid me XD)

when i am stress then i fall sick..arg sick..ummm..i usually love her but now she change to someone who annoys me..so i hate her!

and this is one more bitch..i wanna damn her and crush this bitch..she is damn annoying.. :@

she is making me no mood to talk to guys..u see when i do they will say "yer she love him er.." damn u bitch la..i just talk to him its not like i do that to him..bodoh bitch!!

arg dats all..haiz actually want to post earlier de but everytime also felt malas and doing other thing..so thats all..felt very good after saying all this ^^

and i decided to forgive the rubbish..i wont talk to her but just ignore her..

aiz,,

2009-04-15T17:29:00.000-07:00

damn....dont say 5sc3 not the kelas terbersih next next week..i will give u a XXXX..after all i have done..
==

hmmm...

2009-04-06T18:44:00.000-07:00

here are the photos for the hari sukan and my pbsm kem's group's hamper ^^

the green..

the red..nice?

so pity..that day i think after rain de..

their mascot..what is that??

see my skul's padang??nice huh??hole there hole here..

so cute~~~~ the mascot for green,butterfly..

green...

my rumah sukan ^^ i duno what are the mascot ==

and these 3 is the hamper..actually more formal de but they open first coz a human wan back early..^^ dats all..

aih...haha...

2009-03-28T10:03:00.000-07:00

damn it...this one i type it already but becoz of the rain..

yesterday kinda nice...erm in skul still like hell..my class can never shut up for 1 SECOND..geez especially mujab's son and suren..always bising..

after skul i stay back..then after that while waiting for my father my fren and i chat something..hmmm about "what is ur problems?" then i get childish haha..childsih is more like a praise..and also means cute rite?haha(no?)

then i know my problems dats i dun like to show u dat i beh song u..i will just suddenly(actually with a reason) dun talk to a certain person..

i have no habits of hurting someone so i dont normally told her/him..normally i beh song is chuan ppl..

then after dat..i and pei yin talk about future..haha..this was funny..why so many ppl say i and him still has chance??and its weird coz yesterday i dreamt about him leh(think of him too much??)

lol..i ask "hmmm wonder what is my future like?" then no answer to my question..then we saw 3 little cute rabbits(my fav was monkey after all ^^) in the near house..pei yin wan touch it but it run away haha..

then i ask "hmmm wonder who will i be with??" then she said "i think u will be married to ------" haha no way...mayb i stil got feeling for him??actually now i think we both was trying to do something..

hmmm like make each other fall in love back??i duno..but my intention was to make him REGRET and GUILTY..haha but i guess it will fail coz i lack of courage..i wont use trick i will use my own will..

and he...i think he was trying something..what izit??haiz..

haiz..

2009-03-26T14:15:00.000-07:00

today's killing mission failed...but instead of killing dat person i saw
someone i dun wan to..haiz i even smile to him and he asked "smile wat??"
but he
is also smiling..

everytime i saw him also smiling..he is a gud guy but why my other fren say
he is scary??he is no more than my ex..he is less than lover but more than
frenz(dulu..long time ago)..

haha my fren ask "he look like still got feeling wor" ..haha so funny..no
more this joke we are just fren now..

but duno why he is the person i avoid the most..today actually wan kill de
is LKY but instead i saw him..

2009-03-25T21:51:00.000-07:00

^^ sakura in chinese version..cute~~~

hey tml i bring blade to skul..not to suicide..i am not dat stupid to kill myself in skul..i bring it TO KILL SOMEONE.. ><

because tml got chemistry..so i will lalu 5p2..which is his class..if he dare to pick a fight with me then i dare to really point the blade to him(of cuz not when teacher is there XP) he kacau me once more i will kill him..cut him into 18 pieces..cook with ham,nugget,hotdog,babi,chicken...and feed it to doggy.. XD

......found myself very violence this year...wakakaka..well 2009 is a year for me to be either silent or violent..did i choose violent over silent??i think so... aiya cant find my blade..where did i put it to..haiz..when i dont need it,its always there..

anyway its a MUST to bring on every thursday and friday.. *Evil Grin*

without the help of picture i really cant remember a thing..like abang Ezkil..my first image of him 2009 on the day of camp was "weird but cute" but then one of my fren told me "hey he was they when we have camp 2007" really?i really duno..

but sometimes even with picture i also cant remember..my memory is low..very low..then i go check on majalah sekolah 2006 and found out he was 2 years older ONLY??i thought he was more old.. ==

these day got a feeling of " i dont want to expand my friend range anymore!!" == sakit...sakit....sakit hati ah...

especially seeing him more sakit hati..haiz..oh yeah my class..my class teacher was pn.norma..we always kena marah one..u see..other teacher always say 5sc3 this and 5sc3 that..

then she marah us back la..hey gimme a break i din do that okay??!!damn..always like dat but now i dun wan go anywhere..erm 5sc1 too stress and scary and too much arrogant ppl..5sc2 sien..5sc3 TOO bising..

well nvm la..now already pass 3 month lor..so after spm like hell i am gonna visit thing skul again..actually planning on goin back to this skul for canteen day but nvm la..i rather sleep at home better than go "hell"

and i rather go visit SKPU 1 my primary skul ^^ i wan to see if encik arif was still there or not?..i heard they say a man principle replace the woman(i forgot the name)..

i wonder why ppl can remember the thing happen 20-30 years ago??i really cant remember even with picture and even if its only 2 years ago..

even with picture i still ask "who is this??when did i took this photo??do they really exist??"..

dats why..i need a lot of memory and picture and good thing to remember someone..of coz i will also remember my enemIES for now..

hmmm...

2009-03-23T19:24:00.000-07:00

ahhh these day i kept blogging in my space..but i think here is better anyway becoz can post picture..

so for the camp i already type in my space so i wont type again..and i will post some pictures later..

erm..these day kinda nice can sleep at home and i even get to go out with fren on the last saturday..and it was like i was out alone??yeah..

but i did buy something which make me happy ^^

haiz..as USUAL many bad things happen leh..can i change fate??can i change destiny??

hmmm...today seeing him remind me of something he said during camp(he was a malay guy,same class with me,kinda irritating and annoying!!)yeah he say to me about the mee we ate during the camp activity..it was challenging..well i dun mind typing the ingredient of that SUPER DELICIOUS MEE again here(i type it on my space before)..

-raw eggs

-mee(the one u make until it become big big de ><)

-biscuit(== this make the mee a bit weird)

-and lastly but not least........5 genggam of salt!! ewww..

once u try this i think u will say "my own cooking was better!!"

haha..oh ya..this guy remind me of something dat is..erm..the camp need a penghulu and a penghuluwati..so this guy whom i define as "annoying guy" pointed me out..at last i am not one(i can expect dat bcoz there was too much malays ==)

dat feeling was awkward but not so bad..then he also get balasan..dats we are learning some clapping hand(basic)..and he was worried about the broken egg..(this one i malas to write it again..the egg was a thing they igve each group to take care of..this was hilarious..my group hold it not until 2 minutes already "smack" on the floor)..

then the faci ask him to do something like pondan do..like "eeee seronoknyeeee" with the pondan action..lol and then when he sit back he asked me "u get ur revenge right??"..

dat time i stunt there thinking of wat he meant but i did answer him "yeah.." and now when i think about it..should i really take revenge of everything??well dat was not really my fault its juz he din pay attention to wat the faci is saying..

do u think i will be happy if u get detention??i think no..whether u get detention or not i am still the same..everyday in skul was hell..

oh ya dunno why these day my right eye so pain ah..i wonder why..izit the eye glasses??hmmm...

haiz..

2009-03-10T17:20:00.000-07:00

uhhh...one month++ dun blog here..hmm..well i blog in my space is better..fuhhh..exam for march is over.. relieved..^^

2009-02-07T14:00:00.000-08:00

nah..actually i said to post this emcee here because my space cant post pictures...for the name i already erase it...because i dun like showing my full name..and when u call me by my full name it sound like a challenge..

kya!!kaname-sama..hehe..so cool..blue rose huh..i wan one too..

hehe cute zero-kun..actually found the coffin shop dy but duno the price..these days post in my space coz no mood post here..

just know i am suffering T.T sob...

i'm a little scared...

2009-01-13T22:46:00.000-08:00

yeah scared now...today only i know whats the meaning of FRIEND and what did they USED for...i felt more like finding a coffin..i know i'm stupid so no need tell me..yeah lately my father keeps on and on comparing me...haiz...

i'm scared dat one day i will be alone(dats the me from today 11.45)..today i found out wat does friend USED for..now i tell all of u..I THINK I NEVER NEEDED A FRIEND..i need to find my courage and i know i will found it sooner or later..i need strength..i need encouragement(dats also the me from the past)..

again i expect encouragement from other ppl..dats why now i'm very dissapointed...2009 for me is full of unlucky-ness,dissapointed,bad luck,mad-ness,and other negative...mayb i still din find the angle of positive side...

today when bm..i din bring kertas kajang those sheet(yeah i sengaja say SHEET indeed of paper)..so i pinjam with one of my classmate..a malay guy but know mandarin..this guy..he said "erm 20 cent each" ..then my friend borrow 2..

i'm STUPID i thought she buy one for me..but then she use it herself then i think alone.."hmmm this girl so nice har..."..ok enough with the sindiran..so suan lor i buy 2 myself lor..40 cent..i thought this guy just playing but he really did kept it in his pocket..

at that moment start i ask myself "is this a joke?"..okay nevermind..40 cent one lesson..i will NEVER borrow anything from him EVER again..NEVER!!if he does i will count him 30 cent each!(this is called revenge,ppl who dont get their revenge are considered ------!!)

ok now i tell u what friend are used for(for some of my friend to me)..JUST A TOY!!..u know i am not a dolly..haiz bazir my energy to be happy for something like "oh someone is same class with me now!!yay GOD bless me..i am forever grateful..lucky me.." i am TOO stupid to say dat..

now i totally change the script into an opposite one..i know i'm NEVER lucky..dats who i'm..now she said she want to change back to science 2 so this friend izit same like nothing?for me with and without them is the same..

with them i will feel even more uneasy coz they will one day BETRAY you..so prepare yourself..even the best ever friend will betray u so i never trust anyone except for my family members but my father once told me "dont trust ppl so easily STUPID!!" ..haha..so shall i?or shudn i?..

today saw him on the way to bio lab so turn back quickly and run away faster..seeing him bring me a lot of pain dats hidden deep inside me and the old memories..yeah so this is what i learnt today..felt very dissapointed and pain!!

oh ya froget about what my friend did..she even said something i DONT wan to hear the most..i'm too unlucky..do u think u are unlucky?i think i'm the MOST!!in the rank of luckiness..i always will be the LAST!!

and also today was such a XXXX day..today bio so i sit down..then becoz last week i din go skul so i missed some details and i'm nervous because i din do preparation..okay now question time..teacher go on and picking student to answer her question..

deng deng deng..first was amir and he answer perfectly without doubt(admire him)..then second was me!!..i was blur..third was dat guy i say just now(no nid show name la) he give an answer diff from the question..and then next and next..

then we stand for a while..and teacher call the two guys who stand up to sit..i was also standing..BUT i think teacher din see me standing or she sengaja??i dont know..the guy sit beside me,uzair,said "u sit and stand also the same height" dat time i really felt was slap him..

is my height really dat of a problem?XXXX...dont mess with me..i am no longer the kitten karen..said it once more i will splash him with water!!second i will really slap him and even kick..say already 2009 is a year for me to be calm,violent and silent!..u think i dont dare?..try it..

my height is none of ur business coz u are not my anybody..go and mind ur own business which u cannot even settle urself or u are so free to talk about why dont u go and do something else?!!(actually i have a bad meaning here but i wont type it bcoz not gud for children underaged..under 14)

haiz..

2009-01-10T22:11:00.000-08:00

each day pass by...i grow up even more sick..i go see doctor got 3 times dy?i think so..each time the pils is even bigger T.T..why..mayb i worry too much about my class and things..haiz alone is something i'm scared of but GOD let me through it..i think its a trial to try me..

being alone is ok but i hate ppl when they say me "ALONE"..just shut up and mind ur own business..i hate humans..now i never liked anyone..i'm complete alone..anti social..2009 is a year for me to be calm,violent and silent..

i dun care being alone but i hate ppl always looking at me with a meaning of "pity her"..i DONT NEED ur pity..so stay away..3 metre away..shoo shoo..now i have became anti social and i dont wish to talk so much with stranger nor with anybody(exception for my family bt include all the one i know/in school)..

each day pass by..each day in skul i felt like finding a rope..now i understand why ppl need to suicide..duno why but in skul i gt a very weird feeling dat make me felt like "suicide now!"..

i felt very dissapointed with a group of humans dat din rmb my bday..bt nvm..one of them even asked me "why u din tell"..shall i tell the whole world "yay its my birthday today!!" dat would definitely meant "i want present"..i dont need anything dat cn bought by money..i just need a greeting..is dat so expensive?

not dat i have everything but i dun need anything dat cn be bought with money..a greeting is not even need more than 5 second nor it also din need much energy..its just 2 word..is dat so difficult?am i asking for too much?i put too much expectation in them..

i thought i will gt many greetings..dats why i'm dissapointed..then more i expect the more i felt dissapointed..i will never put any confident or expectation in anybody anymore..i will NEVER expect anything from anybody anymore..i felt weak..i need strength..i need to be stronger..

dissapointed+gloomy+sick+sad+unhappy+other things=a totally bad luck for me..i am one bad luck girl..i think i'm the bad-est luck if compare to my frenz and siblings..

yeah my father like to compare..and dats the one and only reason dat i lost my interest in study..i felt like "haiz i will NEVER surpass him" T.T

sicking -karen-

humpty dumpty?

2009-01-03T19:00:00.000-08:00

humpty humpty humpty dumpty...just playing on word..the humpty lock and dumpty key...haiz still sick-ing...i think i wud be better if i dun worry bout dat thing..well dun worry when u are sick or else the sickness will gt more bad like me...

buying this and dat..for the school opening..haiz i hate school..especially when nex year is the class where i wud be alone..well i like alone..i hate pair work u know..it make me furious to pair work..i hate pair work with anyone..

i like being alone and studying alone..but i have no other option in tuition centre..haix..but i like home tutor coz the teacher will only concentrate on me..and i cn ask as much question as i want..

oh ya today the second time go see doctor..T.T so cham..well morning is ok but night really cham lor..talking about night on the 1-1-08 i aim to gt a gud dream but din gt one..i din gt a bad one either but when i woke up feel like i was beaten.. >.<

continue with the clinic..today when i waiting to take the medicine i saw a women(erm a lady is better?well whatever..)..this women looking at me(i think) then i quickly look if i stepped on something or anything..she kept staring so i arrogantly look away(haha this is nt my intention,i dont look at people much becuz my eys sight is very very poor..)

and then when she is called to be check by the doctor she walk close to me and showed me a card and give me..i gratefully(erm like with more manner) accept..(but in the end i din look close to her face,but i gt a glance..she was like aunty rose from a kindergarten..i cant be sure)

this bug me...is there such coincidence to met with someone i know in this clinic?well there was a teacher i met in this clinic too(well i dun really like dat teacher)..then while waiting for the medicine i read the card..it was "d excel kids"..i think it was a kindergarten..then when i read the back of the card its written :

-Parents Dealing With Children AGE 3 TO 6
-Those who wish to be a trainer to train their own teachers
-Those who wish to set up Kindergarten,Kids' Learning Place,Daycare,Play School,Toddler Point etc
-Those who are interested in USER of D Excel Kids

Next to Sekolah Menengah Puchong Utama

below is the card...

this really gt me curious..izit really aunty rose?itu SMPU not SMKPU1 wor..aiya really dun know ler..and izit the card purpose is to hire worker or to invite children??..

argg..

2008-12-27T21:09:00.000-08:00

driving me crazy...haiz next year spm spm..aiyo..so stressed..i will bear 1 more year..or 104 day of school(see i even count it)..pei yin always drive me mad..always hurting me and pretend like nothing happen..

next year i aim to be pps..can i??

and then bear 1 more year i can gt my freedom..and i will gt my license hehe..i really gt a phobia towards my school indian guys(bien tai on physical) and girls(on mental)..eww..dats why i scared of 5sc3..

since i cant do anything but to bear with it then i guess i will juz suicide when i cant bear with it..

a fun fun day..

2008-12-23T22:00:00.000-08:00

23th december 2008.. is the best day..i receive 4 present hehe..thx thx to the giver..it was a fun day when i go out with 5 other frenz..and dissapointed for some reason..

the upper part..this was the last ride before we go eat sushi..360 degree @.@..aiyo..i ride it while closing my eyes..and then chai jing ask me to open my eyes when i was ngam ngam 360 degree the most high place..wah..so scared..u see scared stil wan play haha..

the lower part...

this ride has nothing to fear but its a pain..suit for a couple..it would be nice if the strong was sitting on the left bcoz when it start the right will always end up ..umm how to say..umm..stepping??i dunno la..this will cause pain to the left one..and i was the right one.. T.T..and then the right one will suffer from hand pain if u try to go back to the right side when u were being forced to the left side..i dunno why bt when we ride it,it was 2 times and one guest vomit there..

this was the critical point...roller coaster..this is the first ride and we ride 2 times but hui ying was not feeling well so she stopped on the second round..

this i called it the rubbish dump and my mother called it the washing machine..we ended up nt playing this when we get dizzy from dat spinning ride..

diz??of course not..childish..plus it surely make u dizzy..

after we play dat high star-like thing we go play the ship-like ride then we go eat..i was suggesting on sushi..becoz i wan eat the....dunno wat..the big big de..aiyo..i dunno la..for the upper picture was curry ramen-yi ching's and udon mee-shoo yuen's..

when i go there and order u know what she said "out of stock" -_-lll (i go sushi king for dat only)oh yeah one more thing when we first go in i saw a 38(sampat,sampah)old hag talking sommething toward us..i dunno is it me?i hate her..

if u wan eat the eat la dont talk..nanti choke u to DEATH..actually a teenage i call her old hag!!and one more thing there service are poor..when we first go in,i told u NO ONE SERVE US..do u think kids are not human?..i was sure gonna say this in blog..

this was pei yin's ramen..

mine..dunno wat it called..haha i take this pic when 4 ppl go toilet left me and chai jing..while waiting i ate one and take a pic of it..haha actually it has 3..and then i kept calling them because they go toilet for a long time..but then its a surprise..thx a lot..i thought they sesat jor..haha..

in front of the cake was yi ching left and hui ying right...this was a suprise..thx to them..actually they plan on giving me a surprise but when she talked to the waitress i heard the word "cake"..

haha banana cake..as u can see the cake only has one candle and represent 10 years old..but when i am home it left 6 small candle..so in this pic i was 10 years old but when i am home i was 6 years old??!!ahh...haha..actually they buy it when they went to toilet..

cheers...from upper yi ching and hui ying then the right side chai jing and the lower right pei yin..the lower middle me and the lower left shoo yuen..kambei!!cheers!!before this to my surpise and shocked they sing a birthday song..in the sushi bar?..ahh first time..so shy yet shocking..

i was so -_-lll when pei yin is hurting me..i din say it out but she really dun care my feeling and straight away say all thing just as she please..this kinda make me feel so....but i dun wan to hate so i kept it...this years birthday was fun,shocking,surpising,happy,and more..

actually two day before it i cry like hell(for some reason)..i guess the tears i cried has been pay off..its always like this...i need to cry before i smile and laugh..

we go back at 9pm..wah nice nice..but hui ying and yi ching go back first at around 7..then we go watch beverly hill's chihuahua..only four of us..haha dat movie was nice..i like it..it was funny,cute and real dogs..i wish to see bolts too although its cartoon..

wan find a rope soon...

2008-12-11T10:17:00.000-08:00

rope rope rope..got one??sell to me...is there any rope in my home??no...there is a knife but not good to use it...gun?no!...some pils...yes yes...i ate some so still feel the same...i jz try some various pills together..(hey good girl,good boy dont try it...)..no use to just ate it...ewww..and some of it is bitter...yikes...

ahh...yesterday the worst...i think it was the same i cry for other thing but yesterday was more...ummm how to say?...ummm was more like hell de la...its suffer...and now still the same...yesterday in the morning still nice but then i think around 5:19pm...i called pei yin to ask something but end up knowing another thing...its dat class list...

after i know it,i felt...heaven/hell i am on the way now...please open the door...and dat time i am msn with someone...so he say "don do stupid thing,bla bla bla..." i forget some of it...his word has NO use to me...

then i try to talk to someone on my phone list...and i felt even more sad...my phone list.....all.....haiz....then i decide to either call sou yee jie jie or sheryl jie jie...then i sms sou yee because i scared to disturb sheryl jie jie from her work...and then i feel 0.5% better...i think now i will take 2 years to heal...at least..

first i ask her "sou yee,when u feel so hurt until wan die wat wil u do??" then she replied "i wil cry as loud as i can to GOD..i wil shout at HIM..i wil merajuk at HIM..i wil pray to HIM.." so i do cry as loud as i cry...well dats wat i always done so its fine with me...

this is wat she said me dat i feel better after just now conversation "believe dat GOD has his wil to when he put u in 5sc3..wat we experience GOD wil know..and believe dat everything is in GOD's hand" mayb this is a short message but i cried for it..

and then the second human i asked was my mother...at first i went to her room and cant hold back my tears so i sound like something is in my throat..and i asked her "what will u do when u feel really really sad??" she answered.. "i will smile and laugh HAHAHA"..then i try both..one is cry,believe and pray,the other one is smile and laugh...

after 5 minutes when i still felt sad i go read bible..and then when i open the bible my mother knock the door and when she come in...i felt like crying even more...u wont find a mother like mine...so she asked what happened??is it family problem??...no...

at first i dont want to answer her and continue to cry...i also dunno why my tears kept flowing...everytimes when i cry i will do it alone..but this is the first time i felt so sad dat i asked my mother for her opinion...

erm this is wat i heard the broke my heart and i felt like i wont smile to strangers anymore...u see...pei yin said this "hey karen chai jing was in sc1,then all the others are with me in sc2 and u are the only one in sc3..." doesn it meant "u are the only one,u are outcast,u are alone,no one want u...." this is the feeling i get dat i feel wanna cry...my mood gone down from 80% to 18th floor of hell...i NEVER blame her on it because i know pei yin is the kind of straight one...i HOPED she din meant anything by dat...

dat day i lay on my bed at 9pm..then thinking something until around 10:30 pm then slept at 11pm(i think)...i kept thinking various thing dats bugging me...

well there is one good and many bad thing i was putted into 5sc3...the good is dat i will concentrate in my study without even chatting to anyone...and the bad is dat i was scared...know wat i was scared??...i think many of my frens already know dat i scared indians guys in my school (except af 2% are good,can u imagine 2% over 100% ??)

and then at the same time there is one guy called me..i felt kinda happy..because i think dat he called me at very tepat masa...but i din answer it..no way i could he wil definitely know i am crying..i dunno wat is his intention to called me because i din pick it up...now i felt dun wan to chatted with anyone(except my family and SOME humans)

i used to think the word friends are fake...fakers..hump this is all...

oh ya besides wish a happy birthday to my sis and wish comes true...

Eyaaaaaaaaa.....

2008-12-08T19:57:00.000-08:00

ummm...there are times when i feel wanna cry but....

there is also times when i wanna kill....

i once said "friend" does not exist rite??hmmm i guess so..finding a real friend really take me a lot of time...so as for now i will make anybody suffers if he/she hurt or talk bad about someone who is precious to me....i,karen,wont forgive him or her...

ahhh this picture i dont know what he is trying to do...but its kinda like a "look up when u feel sad ^^"

adeh...before i know what is anime..i am really boring and feel haiz "every day is the same huh..its a cycle everyday"..but then one day (i think from2/form3) one of my fren told me..

"hey did u know there was a new channel called animax"..i was like "haiz just some channel that is bored again??"...she said "no its all cartoon"..cartoon??no interest..well i only have interest in anime...u know anime and cartoon are totally different...

and then when i go back home i watch it(i think it was 35 or something dat time,now its 715,i think,well my otosan cut off the animax channel so i cant see anymore..T.T..but thats also good if not now i could be a real anime maniac/crazy for anime lor...)

the first anime i watch on animax was cardcaptor sakura..i was lucky..that time when i switch on the tv its cardcaptor sakura first episode so everyday i watch it..hehe of course other anime too...watching it making my mood up..

its a way too realease my stress....there are times when i truly crazy for it until the second time i watch it i even write down a synopsis in my diary ^^..haha..i think it was form 2...now i think of it,its really such a....hahahaha...dat time haven play computer so i watch anime on animax...

erm this pic is sunako chan...i think she was kinda cute...dont u think??hmm when i put it as my display pic in msn ppl ask me "hey is dat a ghost?" or "why u put a ghost as display pic?"..hump..she was cute leh....

these days i was like "what the...." having weird dream and cant sleep at night...yesterday was also crazy....well only two ppl know wat i did so shhhh....

ahh i found out there are a lot of anime character thats almost same..erm like...see the following pic...these pic are all in pairs dat i think look alike start with karen and hikari then amu and hino and otherz..

Karen from mermaid melody...the purple mermaid..

And the second-ranked Hikari from special A..

Amu from shugo chara...

And Kahoko from la corda..

Tsuchiura from la corda..

And the seventh-ranked Ryuu from special A..

Takashi Yamamoto from reborn...

And Takashi Morinozuka from ouran high school...

The prince Tamaki from ouran high school..

And the first-ranked Kei from special A..

The fifth-ranked Tadashi from special A..

And Kazuki from la corda..

Len from la corda..

And Ikuto from shugo chara..well they both play violin...

well i guess dats all i can show..i dont have pic of some of them who i think is similar...

this is just a funny random picture...erm this was Tadase from shugo chara and he is kinda similar to Kizune from kamichama karin(i think he was kizune because i stop seeing dat anime after i view a bit..it was slow..i will continue it someday before holiday end)

these day feel so empty...erm my msn contact list is less and the ppl online is always the ppl i dont know...i guess all my schoolmates are having fun norh...T.T..so lonely...saa nvm its okay with me...smile smile...

aiyaya yesterday i pick up the message send by him la...aiyo i dun wan it..i dun wan to contact with him...hish hish..well the phone rang and i pick up la...aiya...regret lor..

he din contact wit me for around 3 weeks liao leh..he think wat am i??a doll?a toy?when he need me then find me when he dun need me he pun me aside...hump...

but he is nice,sweet and caring...dats 5 years ago T.T..i dun wan to hurt him so this is the reason i accept him...shhh i think he wont see this blog so...

if u know him..dun tell him...it will definitely hurt him and he wil hate me forever...FOREVER..and remember dat was 5 years ago when i was standard 6..so a child..but now as my mother said i am STILL a child haha...i was born late than 99.9% of my fren..but i din regret i accept fate.."trust in fate but never be fren/know the word *giving up*"

saa...dats a bye bye..hehe..this year i m expecting a sugoiiiiiiiiiiii christmas... ^^ well i hope everyone have fun too...hehe...aiya i din realize today was 8-12-08 hmmm...the holiday seems pass so fast ner...hor??dont u think so??...chak take care n_nv

hmmm....cry

2008-12-04T22:21:00.000-08:00

aiya....yahoo christmas is coming..hehe..cant wait until christmas...hope this year christmas will be a great one ^^

ummm...i always say thing like "GOD is leaving me","why i had this life??","why GOD treat me like this??" but these days i realize it was stupid to think so..now is know that i has been blessed a lot by HIM..HE gave me what is important...

i am forever grateful...GOD let us pass through bad thing to protect us from worst thing..this is what my precious friend told me...

life is like a cycle for me..after good luck is always bad luck...well there is no way a human would only have good luck rite??so appreciate what u have now...

not all thing will go on as predicted...i once think of if i go 10 year to the future then came back here,then there is no more meaning when u already what will happen tomorrow...

i picked these lines from an email..

HUMAN BEINGS ARE SUCH SMALL CREATURES,

AREN'T THEY?

SO DON'T BE TOO WORRIED ABOUT

EVERYTHING, TREASURE EVERY MOMENT, DO

WHAT YOU WISH TO DO.....

BROADEN YOUR VIEW, BROADEN YOUR MIND,

DON'T WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT THINGS

THAT ARE BOTHERING YOU,

DO TREASURE YOUR LOVED ONES, LIVE

SAFELY AND PEACEFULLY,

ALWAYS BE HAPPY TO WELCOME THE COMING

OF THE NEW DAY....... ENJOY THE SUNSHINE ...

ALWAYS LOOK AT THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF THINGS.....

Yesterday is history.

Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.

haha...i always do encourage other ppl but i dont know how to myself...i feel down..next year really gonna sell salty duck eggs lor...(if u duno what it means then nvm...)..

2009 will be a complete torture year for me..no more anime..no more loitering..no more play play around..i know its too late but i still wan to try my best now!because i make a promise to my LORD,GOD...

when we love,we kiss...when me hate??we kick and kill??...jz kidding...

i like talks about anime(what i like is anime not cartoon) but i dun really like to talk or gossip about humans..u cant trust womens so can u trust mens??no...coin has two side so does human??yes...

and i dun like talks about phone model,artist or whatever idol..for me my one and only idol will be HIM..say me outdate or anything...i shall always be loyal to only HIM..i will prove it..

Special A..Hikari Hanazono and Kei Takishima..

Ouran High School Host Club..Haruhi Fujioka and Tamaki Suoh..

oh ya i just finish watching an anime...special A..very meaningful...its like ouran but special A is more funny...

lets gambateh!isn he cute??he got gold eyes,his name is Yoru...the cross on his neck...i want it ^^

songz..part 7 and 8

2008-11-16T16:06:00.000-08:00

continue from part 6..

Written In Your Heart

And you're always free to begin again
And you're always free to believe
When you find the place
That your heart belongs
You'll never leave

You and I will always be
Celebrating life together
I know I have found a friend forever more
Love is like a melody
One that I will always treasure
Courage is the key that opens every door

Though you may not know
Where your gifts may lead
And it may not show at the start
When you live your dreams
You'll find destiny
Is written in your heart

Though you may not know
Where your gifts may lead
And it may not show at the start
When you live your dream
You'll find destiny
Is written in your heart

I'm On My Way

When I wonder where I am
When I wonder why I take these chances
I try to breathe
I say to me, "believe"
And whatever comes, it's okay

'Cause I'm on my way
To somewhere better
I'm further every day
I'm on my way
I know it might take until forever
But everything could change today
So I'm on my way
To find that place

People say that I'm naive
'Cause I'm trusting and my heart is open
But I won't hide
I'm here to find who I am
And whatever comes is what's right

'Cause I'm on my way
To somewhere better
I'm further every day
I'm on my way
I know it might take until forever
But everything could change today
So I'm on my way
To find that place

I'll keep dreamin'
Til I get there
I'll be free
So goodbye to yesterday
I'm giving what it takes

'Cause I'm on my way
To somewhere better
I'm on my way
It could take forever
(And everything could change)
It could change today
'Cause I'm on my way
To find that place

songz..part 6

2008-11-16T16:02:00.000-08:00

continue from part 5..

If You Love Me For Me

ERIKA:
Once a lass met a lad
You're a gentle one, said she
In my heart I'd be glad
If you loved me for me

You say your love is true
And I hope that it will be

DOMINIC:
I'd be sure, if I knew
That you loved me for me

ERIKA:
Could I be the one you're seeking?
Will I be the one you choose? Can you tell my heart is speaking?
My eyes will give you clues

DOMINIC:
What you see may be deceiving
Truth lies underneath the skin

ERIKA:
Hope will blossum by believing

BOTH:
The heart that lies within

DOMINIC:
I'll be yours
Together we shall always be as one
If you love me for me

ERIKA:
Who can say where we'll go
Who can promise what will be
But I'll stay by your side
DOMINIC:
I'll be yours
Together we shall always
Be as one

BOTH:
If you love me for me
If you love me for me

songz..part 5

2008-11-16T15:59:00.000-08:00

continue from part 4..

The Cat's Meow

I can see it when you're feeling low
You can't hide that from me
You're no status quo calico
So why keep trying to be?
'Cause you're more than that
You're my doggish cat
I wish you could see the you I see
I say
If you bark
Celebrate it
Make your mark
Serenade it
Noah's ark
Shoulda had a cat like you
And if
What you are
Is a strange you
Doesn't mean
You should change you
Only means
You should change your point of view

Hey, feline
You fetch just fine
To thine ownself be true
Your bow wow's
The cat's meow
It's how I know you're you

You don't need the bows
Or tiara
Bid your woes
Sayonara
Trust your nose
'Cause it knows the way to go
When you
Chase your tail
You're enchanting
Spirits sail
When you're panting
When you wail
You're a rover, Romeo

There is not
One hair of you
That I would rearrange
I love you the way you are
And that will never change
That will never change

songz..part 4

2008-11-16T15:37:00.000-08:00

continue from part 3..

To Be A Princess

JULIAN (SPOKEN):
Lets begin,
No nagging, bragging, sweating, fretting, slipping, tripping,
Slurping, burping, twittering or frittering allowed.
Stay Present, stay pleasant, stay proud.

JULIAN:
To be a princess
Is to know which spoon to use
To be a princess
Is to own a thousand pairs of shoes
To maintain a regal gait
Leave the parsley on your plate
And be charming but detached
And yet amused
To be a princess
Is to never be confused

Do a plié and never fall
Don't ever stray from protocol
All through the day
There's just one way
You must behave
Do keep a grip and never crack
Stiff upper lip and arch the back
Bend from above
And always wear your gloves
And wave

Shoulders back and
Tummy in and
Pinky out and
Lift the chin and
Slowly turn the head from side to side

ERIKA:
I see now

JULIAN:
Breathing gently
Stepping lightly
Smile brightly
Nod politely
Never show a thing you feel inside
Glide!

To be a princess
Is to always look your best
To be a princess
Is to never get to rest
Sit for a portrait, never squirm
Sleep on a mattress extra firm
Speak and be clever
Never at a loss for words
Curtsy to every count and lord
Learn how to play the harpsichord
Sing lullabies and always harmonize in thirds

BOTH:
Thirds, thirds

JULIAN:
And
She has beautiful eyes
Your spirits rise
When she walks in the room

ERIKA:
I see

JULIAN:
Doors close
And the chemistry grows
She's like a rose
That's forever in bloom

JULIAN & (ERIKA):
Do a plié and don't
(Ever ever ever fall)
Never show dismay
(And be there when people call)
Be prepared whatever royal life will bring
Do keep a grip and don't
(Ever ever ever crack)
Take a dainty sip
(Never ever turn your back)
There's a time and place and way for everything

To be a princess
Is to never make your bed
To be a princess
Is to always use your head

songz..part 3

2008-11-16T15:32:00.001-08:00

continue from part 2..

I Am A Girl Like You

PRINCESS ANNELIESE (SPOKEN):
I’m savoring my first and last taste of freedom
Before getting married next week to a total stranger...

ERIKA (SPOKEN):
At least you’re not an indentured servant.

PRINCESS ANNELIESE (SPOKEN):
Indentured servant?

ERIKA:
If I'd like to have my breakfast hot
Madame Carp will make me pay
And I have to fetch the eggs myself
And the barn's a mile away
It's cold and wet and still I get
An omlette on my plate
But in my head I'm back in bed
Snuggled up and sleeping late

PRINCESS ANNELIESE (SPOKEN):
Really?

ERIKA (SPOKEN):
Really, but it’s alright. I mean, I’m used to it.
And you?

PRINCESS ANNELIESE (SPOKEN):
Well...

ERIKA (SPOKEN):
Well?

PRINCESS ANNELIESE:
If I want some eggs I ring the bell
And the maid comes running in
And she serves them on a silver tray
And she brings a cookie tin
And while I eat, she rubs my feet
And strolling minstrels play
But I'd rather be in my library reading science books all day

ERIKA:
I'm just like you

PRINCESS ANNELIESE:
You are?

ERIKA:
You're just like me
There's somewhere else we'd rather be
Somewhere that's ours
Somewhere that dreams come true
Yes, I am a girl like you

You'd never think that it was so
But now I've met you and I know
It's plain as day, sure as the sky is blue
That I am a girl like you

PRINCESS ANNELIESE (SPOKEN):
So! You’re a singer?

ERIKA (SPOKEN):
No, I work at Madame Carp’s penitentiary, uh, I mean Dress Emporium.

PRINCESS ANNELIESE (SPOKEN):
I love Madame Carp’s Dresses!

ERIKA (SPOKEN):
I made the one you’re wearing.

PRINCESS ANNELIESE (SPOKEN):
You made this? The design looks so complicated!

ERIKA (SPOKEN):
Oh, but it isn’t really...

ERIKA:
First I choose a fabric from the rack
And I pin the pattern down
And I stitch it in the front and back
And it turns into a gown

PRINCESS ANNELIESE:
I wear the gown, without my crown
And dance around my room

BOTH:
And imagine life without the strife of an unfamiliar groom

PRINCESS ANNELIESE (SPOKEN):
But I’d never let my Mother know.
I wouldn’t want to disappoint her.

ERIKA (SPOKEN):
I completely understand.

PRINCESS ANNELIESE & (ERIKA):
I'm just like you (I think that's true)
You're just like me (Yes, I can see)

BOTH:
We take responsibility

PRINCESS ANNELIESE & (ERIKA):
We carry through (We carry through)

BOTH:
Do what we need to do
Yes, I am a girl like you

ERIKA & (PRINCESS ANNELIESE):
I'm just like you (I'm just like you)
You're just like me (You're just like me)

BOTH:
It's something anyone can see

ERIKA & (PRINCESS ANNELIESE):
A heart that beats (A heart that beats)

BOTH:
A voice that speaks the truth
Yes, I am a girl like you!

songz..part 2

2008-11-16T15:30:00.000-08:00

continue from part 1..

How Can I Refuse?

PREMINGER:
I've been bowing
I've been scraping
I've been lying like a rug
And for ten long years I've had to pay my dues
But today I am escaping
For the last gold has been dug
It was waiting there, so how could I refuse?

I'm returning home a hero
Who's discovered mighty wealth
And what better husband could a princess choose?
I'm the suitor who will suit her
Bring the kingdom back to health
And I'll wear the crown, for how could I refuse?

Raise every glass
And rouse every cheer!
Praise that the reign of Preminger is here!
Master in charge of all that I see
All hail me!

And by marrying the princess I get all that I desire
Like a moat
An ermine coat
And palace views

Even though she treats me coldly
It's a sign of inner fire
For inside she's thinking
"How can I refuse?"

MAN 1 (SPOKEN):
Right, except there’s one little problem, boss.

PREMINGER (SPOKEN):
That’s Prince Boss to you!

MAN 1 (SPOKEN):
Right, the queen decided to marry off the princess to the king of Bahsena.

PREMINGER (SPOKEN):
What?! Making a decision without me?! Who does she think she is?

DUMB MAN (SPOKEN):
Uh, the Queen?

PREMINGER (SPOKEN):
You simpering simpleton!

DUMB MAN (SPOKEN):
Well, she is the Queen. She’s got a crown and a scepter and sits in her big fancy chair...

PREMINGER (SPOKEN):
Silencio!

PREMINGER:
No! I wont let go!
This peasant son wont turn and run because some reckless royal chose another beau

Ah...it's...a temporary setback
It's a momentary lapse
But conviently my ego doesn't bruise
And the moment that I get back I will show them who's the boss
You can bet your bullion there'll be no "I do's"
Yes suppose the girl goes missing
And the king says "au revoir"
Then I find her
Bring her back and make the news
Then the queen will be so grateful
That she'll pledge the heir to moi
And I'll humbly tell her
"How can I refuse?"

When our ceremony's over
I'll arise and take the throne
And that nitwit Anneliese can kiss my shoe
For the kingdom and the castle will be mine and mine alone
If the crown should fit then how can I refuse?

ALL: So get ready with the roses and stand by with the champagne
When you've got a brilliant plan you never lose
Yes before the chapter closes
I'll be as big as Charlemagne
It's a thankless job but how can I refuse
How can I refuse?

songz..part 1

2008-11-16T15:28:00.000-08:00

i like this song sang by Anneliese and Erika..well i dont know their true name..the is from the story "

SINOPSIS
In an unnamed mountain kingdom, a blonde princess and a brunette pauper are born simultaneously and grow up unaware that their facial features are identical to each other. The princess, Anneliese, craves freedom from her royal duties, especially when she is informed by her widowed mother, Queen Genevieve, that she must marry the wealthy king of a nearby kingdom because their own royal treasury is nearly bankrupt. The pauper, Erika, craves a different sort of freedom, as she is an indentured servant at the bullish Madam Carp's Dress Emporium to work off her parents' debt...

LYRICS

Written In Your Heart (Prologue)

Like a bird that flies in the morning light
Or a butterfly in the spring
When your spirit rides on the winds of hope
You'll find your wings

For you're always free to begin again
And you're always free to believe
When you find the place
That your heart belongs...

Free

SCHEDULE MAN (SPOKEN):
Oh! We’re late, late, late!
We have 20, maximum 22 minutes, for your royal fitting.
And then it’s move, move, move to your speech at the historical society!
After that we have to rush, and I mean rush, to the horticultural society for tea.
Ugh... Then there's your math lessons, your geography lessons, your science lessons...

ANNELIESE:
All my life I've always wanted
To have one day just for me
Nothing to do and for once nowhere I need to be
With no lessons, lords, or lunches
Or to-do list in the way
No one to say when to eat or read or leave or stay
That would be the day

ERIKA:
All my life I've always wanted
To have one day for myself
Not waking up with a pile of work on every shelf
With no hems in need of pressing
And no sleeves in disarray
No wedding gown with a thousand stitches to crochet
And no debt to pay

WOMAN (SPOKEN):
Huh! Madame Carp!

MADAME CARP (SPOKEN):
What do you think I’m running here, a cabaret?

ERIKA (SPOKEN):
I would have said a debtor’s prison.

MADAME CARP (SPOKEN):
Keep laughing, you’ll be working for me for another 37 years.

ERIKA (SPOKEN):
But I already paid off more then half!

MADAME CARP (SPOKEN):
But there’s interest isn’t there?
Your parents should have thought of that before they borrowed so much.

ERIKA (SPOKEN):
They did it to feed me!

MADAME CARP (SPOKEN):
Their mistake.

ERIKA:
What would it be like to be

PRINCESS ANNELIESE:
What would it be like to be

ERIKA:
Free

PRINCESS ANNELIESE:
Free

Free to try crazy things

ERIKA:
Free from endless IOU's

ANNELIESE:
Free to fly

ERIKA:
Free to sing

ANNELIESE:
And marry whom I choose

QUEEN (SPOKEN):
I’m so sorry, my darling, but as you know it is vital that you marry King Dominic.
It is the only way to take care of our people.

ANNELIESE (SPOKEN):
I know, it’s my duty.

QUEEN (SPOKEN):
Ah! And look another engagement gift!

ANNELIESE:
You would think that I'm so lucky
That I have so many things
I'm realizing that every present comes with strings

ERIKA:
Though I know I have so little
My determination's strong
People will gather around the world to hear my song

WOMAN:
Can I come along?

ANNELIESE:
Now I fear I'll never be

ERIKA:
Soon I will forever be

BOTH:
Free

I close my eyes and feel myself fly a thousand miles away
I could take flight but would it be right
My conscience tells me stay

ANNELIESE:
I'll remain forever royal

ERIKA:
I'll repay my parent's debt

BOTH:
Duty means doing the things your heart may well regret

ANNELIESE:
But I'll never stop believing

ERIKA:
She can never stop my schemes

BOTH:
There's more to living than gloves and gowns and threads and seams
In my dreams
I'll be free

(*IOU*:

Noun
A promise to pay a debt, especially a signed paper stating the specific amount owed and often bearing the letters IOU.
Etymology
From the pronunciation of I owe you.)

finally..

2008-11-07T13:27:00.000-08:00

haiz this blog i make it and i save it in draft then when i continue upload picture..i wrong click on the "delete" button.. T.T..i malas wan type again la..ummm today was the last day i go school for 2008..

i din mean anything for this picture..she was goyang-ing the picture so i took it..haha..

this three..erm..trio?haha..they are the ppl i admire..real..from left chai jing..ummm well in my school she is known for her studies and quite cute too..dont u think so??..haha sorry all this photo i din ask for permission and upload it..sry la..hehe..

uwoooo the middle one is shoo yuen...i admire her for..ahem u can open ur eyes..and look carefully at her..lol..and the right one is pei yin ummm..she is kinda blur bt perfect in studies too..as conclusion these trio is really good in study..

and then as u can see then purple dress is librarian and red was prefect..so in my class the are 5 chinese girl(include me) and 1 chinese guy..there is one more chinese girl..she is also a librarian..if u read the older post u will noe my feeling toward her..sorry its not love!i am nt that kind of human...

and then the nice thing is that as i cn see they dun like magazine..well i dun like magazine..nt that i hate it bt i dun like the talks about dress and handphone..i dun like talks about handphone,model and idol..for me my one and only idol is HIM..this is the same as pei yin..

this is pn.charanjit..in the beginning of the year she teacher 4sc2 est bt then est suddenly cut-ed??oh no..i hate it..why dont cut adm??..i like est cause i like english hehe..actually this is the time we waited for the KFC..hehe..

random picture..i took it for fun..my school sky??lol...nth to do..

okay this are 2 monkey..only two..one more i dunno who is him and he is quite so he din kacau me and i dont wan kacau him lor..u see a person behind the tree??lol he said something like "i am slim de la.." slim like a tree??

below are some scenery from my skul..

the cantin..
some random picture..

dataran..or tapak perhimpunan..block A..block B..
block C..
dewan..did u see the moto sekolah??..its "sentiasa gemilang"..

then we go take pic with pn.zahariah..this is the tangga at block C..see??yellow??ugh..faint..only at block C..not only this bt upper tangga also gt la..ewww..aqua blue,purple or mayb black is better..what if whole skul white??lol..jz kidding..

this is pn.zahariah..she teach adm(add math)..i dun like it..i dun like adm bt i like this teacher..she was quite cute dont u think??okay whats with then position??left one right two??..so unfair...haha..

then this is pn.......sorry she din teach me anything so i dont know her name bt she was nice..hehe..

this is the building build-ed around may??i dunno...erm its around the bilik masakan,bilik pengurusan diri and bilik jahitan in second floor and around bilik paip??in first flooor..i duno izit bilik paip or what izit..
and then this is pn.lim..hehe..pretty leh(in the blog is all the teacher nice,cute and pretty bcoz i din take any teacher that i din like hehe bt i also forget to get the picture of pn.zubaida my bio teacher..extremely cute..and she NEVER scold student..)

and here is when we talk about baby...haha i am the one start asking "izit boy or girl??" she answer "din know yet" and then we talk for a while(quite long la)haha i am disturbing teacher??..yeah..and then we talk about chrimosomes..lol...

oh so lonely..because her wife??yeah wife din come..they stick with each other always..erm this pic i just wan to show what i ate..kfc with 2 chicken,coca cola,2 sweets and a pack of snack..that snack 30% of snack and 70% of air..lol..then i am eating the "air"(angin)

pn.puteh..cute cute..she is also like pn.zubaida..never scold student(i think she din scold good student la) and cute..hehe..
the last picture i took..the end of school days..the start of holiday!its the start of the school holiday!cheers and rejoice..

today my father forget to fetch me??ummm nvm i had a great time with pei yin and JR..they are nice..pei yin thanks..she always accompany me..hehe..JR..my first time saw him was scary bt actually he was nice..really...

so what?

2008-10-30T14:18:00.000-07:00

yeah this is the mostly word i would say "so what?"..that day (i forget the day) yeah..its terrible..i feel like saying all those XXXX..

these day i really stuck and addicted to manga and anime..and i like this word "i did everything for my own merits!" from Ootori kyouya-ouran high school host club..

an sleeping angel...actually the before me i like study coz i gt my confident when i gt number 1 in my form 1 march test..well that time i was shock and every classmate is shock too..i was like "no way!how can this be?"bt thats the fact..well my form 1 class is 1 kental the 3rd last class..well nvm la...

then i start to improve?(i think) bt that time something crush my confident..my father said something like "dont pujuk urself comparing to those who is nt so good..compare to those who gt full A's"..

so what?gt many A's with no heart?well i think nowaday no one would talk this stupid heart anyway..

the violinist..tsukimori len,ousaki shinobu and hino kahoko..

the flute..yunoki azuma..

the cello..shimizu keiichi..

the trumpet..hihara kazuki..

the pianist..tsuchiura ryoutarou..

i am destroyed by the so-called "friend and xxxxxx"..just now some question pop in my head.."why i need to depend on other ppl??" i decided to depend on myself and nt trusting ANYONE..no matter who is that...

haha okay fine hey wanna share an iq question..i gt a lot since i like asking and ppl ask me back..so i collect a lot of funny one and nt logic bt logic also gt..haha here the question is like this

u need to borrow rm100 so u borrow A's rm50 and B's rm50..then u use that rm100 to buy a pair of sport shoes rm97 then left rm3 so u shared it..u giv rm1 to A and rm1 to B and rm1 more u keep it urself..then u actually borrow rm50 from A and B right?so now u payback rm1 to A and B..now u hutang rm49 with A and rm49 with B..49 plus 49 equal rm98 then plus ur rm1 is rm99...so where does rm1 more go??

this question was weird and the answer was stupid..many ppl giv me many different answer..then they said this question was "FOR STUPID PPL" i was like "huh??"..

ANSWER:"that human count wrong jor"..u see..the sport shoe is 97..97 divide by 2 is 48.5 so 48.5 plus 48.5 equal 97 then plus the rm3 left is rm100 lor...i also dun understand so much la..why divide by 2?i once ask the one who give me this answer and she answer "because that human like to count ma so divide two as for A and B lar"

I STILL DONT GET IT!

bleeding hate...

2008-10-23T20:54:00.000-07:00

what the heck....today was the most hurt la(i think) among fren la...well today get some result and wasn so gud...so i sit there quitely and thinking then i look around..my class gt 5 girls include me..so chai jing and shoo yuen is sleeping..chai jing so kreative she slept on 3 chair haha...i wonder does it feel gud??haha..soik yin and pei yin are like so boring..

then suddenly something come to my mind..."one frog" "yi zhe qing wa" well my chinese was not so gud..then i start it "one frog/yi zhe qing wa" den soik yin sambung "jump into the water/tiao jing sui li" then pei yin "bom"..haha then shoo yuen join and then chai jing too...after that shud be "two frog/liang zhe qing wa" then again "two frog/liang zhe qing wa" then "jump into water/tiao jing sui li" then "jump into water/tiao jing sui li" then "bom" then "bom"..bom is like the water sound...

then the more we play the atmosphere seem to change..pei yin so blur she made the most mistake...den after play we go bc class and teacher say "okay today i gt meeting" well i din like that teacher very much ler...or shud i say i dun even like her...then after she go out..we start again but this time combine with some 4sc1 and 4sc4 student..

this time we play an edited one..i plan to edit this game...this was the result(i think this was the arrangement,just short cut)

pei yin-one frog
chiao hua-jump into water
shoo yuen-bom
me-two pig(start to change from the person who will say number)
pei yin-jump in to lumut(well u know lumut..this is real so when she say it we all laugh)
the next for voice i suggest-biek..haha...

then duno why from animal start to change to bags..does bag make sound??haha we all have a great laugh..as i said b4 1 day happy then one or more day will be worst..yeah then after play this we play card plus true or dare..that time is almost bell rang time..the last one was shoo yuen..i was hurt..

pei yin-true or dare?
shoo yuen-what is true?
pei yin-*explain*
shoo yuen-what is dare?
pei yin-*explain*(well pei yin like to echo me and take the lead)
shoo yuen-true
pei yin-here who was ur best fren?
shoo yuen-two(i think she is trying to say soik yin and me..well other ppl she duno she is a newbie)
pei yin-*forcing* choose one
shoo yuen-soik yin!

at the time she choose her the bell rang...i am lucky that it was almost back time bcoz i really feel like crying and i was lucky that the exam is over if its exam then i wont even hav the mood..and then i was lucky(so many lucky haha) that i know it before my love deepen for her..now we are fren okay??...haha...nvm i will search for the one have the mutual interest as me and an one hearted fren...

okay about this pei yin she was truthly blur...i think when physic time..all chinese girl and the one and only indian girl sit at the last like a group...that time 4sc2 take exam in 5sc2..well chinese in my line at the first is soik yin then shoo yuen then me at the last..beside me is tamarai and infront tamarai is pei yin and infront pei yin no one..

okay the story begin..i think its the pyhsic paper on friday..teacher give soik yin 3 graph paper because shoo yuen and me is behind and she(that teacher) give pei yin two graph paper..u know wat she asked?

pei yin-teacher!*take up her hand*
teacher-what?
pei yin-why she get 3 and i get 2??*pointing at soik yin graph paper*
teacher-pass to the back la...
pei yin-*shut*

haha then we laugh around her...haha she is...duno how to express well her result are gud bt BLUR!!i talk to her need to repeat two times..like u say once then she will ask back "what u talk juz now?i dun understand la"...haha..

and then i think this yesterday the last day of exam so i TERsee (ter- is bm TERSEPAK and see is bi LOOK) so its TERsee two ppl moral paper with Pn Rohaida(i like this teacher)..well that two person i dun need to say their name la...their marks one is "half mark" oh man...half??yeah half nt even ONE...the other one get 9..when i read one answer he wrote "potong tangan dan bergantung diri" so at first i tot "potong tangan dan gantung diri" haha...i know this both ppl..then other chinese take a look and laugh too....

i think that question was about "what u will do if u kena ragut.." its RAGUT..ragut..okay?...okay...last year christmas present was the best(i think its last year..enchanted haha..)chak see ya..jeanna..

argh argh argh argh argh argh argh....

2008-10-22T22:00:00.000-07:00

well to tell the truth i use blog to express my feeling to those "???" person...yeah exam is over..HOWEVER...stil nid take result...d*** it..u see when i say i wan go skul then i will get the answer "aiya go for what la....sit home la" but when i say "i dun wan go la...so sien" then u know whah answer i get?? "what la u ponteng ponteng huh huh??like gengster..." i feel like why me??why nt other ppl??why me??

well as u see...i finish exam-ing...then?my fren and i plan to go out..so i ask my father and he said "okay ioi?ok...i will take u all go" so i am happy...then suddenly my fren told me "its sunway" u know what i feel like...#$%XXXX....suan la i am alone after all...haiz why me??

okay so one of the human who go fui yen..she got everything that i dont..and shoo yuen too...why they got everything i dont??it look unfair ya noe??well i ask fui yen

me:hey ur papa and mama let u go out freely??
fui yen:ya..they are so open minded de
me:haiz... T.T
fui yen:ur parents just want protect u only
me:*talk in heart*protect??i rather suicide..u wont understand...

and then i really envy she gt freedom with open minded parent..loved by all and the most especially enemy i got she dont!!!my most dangerous enemy always "ting" at me and trying to do a lot of bad stuff...well i understand GOD giv us bad thing to elakkan the worst thing happen so i only sit and pray about him...he has no cure...let GOD cure him...i wont hate him..instead i prayed for him..why me??

oh ya?after this i really dun understand a lot of thing...these day being betrayed very hurt...i rather say "can i die now??" i had no meaning to live on..if i died i am 100% sure he will be happy...isn it so "???" person...i felt hurt everytime i see him bt i also need to smile to him..everytime after see him,i will cry...why me??

so conclusion why me??!!!!!!well if GOD say i did commit crime like killed then i would say "i will accept this sincerely"..bt what did i do??!!!!!past life sins??i really dun wan to sabar anymore..i had my limit..i dun like those ppl who always watching me do what and try to making me felt sad and hurting me..i dont want this d*** thing..XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!like hell i would want it...

wah..

2008-10-19T12:52:00.000-07:00

LORD has given me one precious thing..i treasure it..IT is a human..he is wonderful..haha..wow since september 27 i din blog oh...connection problem and bla bla bla..study study study..haiz so sien la this life...urg...

weeee kyaaaa!!

2008-09-27T12:30:00.000-07:00

so happy for yesterday ^^...stil cant forget ho high i play until...hope to see more miracle...uwahhh i love all the member,seniors and juniors too...they are frenly(well at least the member are frenly) so nice so nice...Sheryl is so nice..hehe...

yesterday was very very unexpected...my prayer has reach the LORD oh LORD thanks...so happy...i hope i wont be as sad as i am happy today bcoz usually when i happy one day it will be sad many day T.T...chak bye2..

over enjoyed...

2008-09-26T19:56:00.000-07:00

yeah!whooohooo!rock it....today 26-9-08 i was really really happy...but there is something sad too..well the happy feeling over flow inside more than my sad feeling..i am happy...all that i pray and hoped come true thats to make sure youth conference going on perfectly and it goes on perfectly as i prayed...and JR a member i prayed so that he will be more happy and forget all the past thing that make him sad so today he seem more lively than ever..he was happy (at least what i see from outside)...

then today i "selamba"ly propose to ken ahaha...not that ken its kks..haha its actually nt propose..i told him b4 "i admire u in the beginning of skul" and that time is i think around july..and today he ask me "u like me?" haha i selamba jek answer him "yes" haha then he...aiya i forget wat reaction jor..actually i want sambung that "that feeling is now turn to admire feeling" lol admire and love is two very very very different feeling leh...

dulu i dun wan to reject him so i accept him and he break up with me...that time i feel "wah so free...less a beban" (so jahat la me) haha then after a few week i was like "wuwuwu(sfx crying) why he break up with me" haha then later i regain my self confident little only la until now...now i understand that the love i say is only some of my admire and frenship for them...aiyo why i din understand it in the first place if i understand it earlier then no one wud be hurt right?..

ya that time i am stil mentah...since he was so precious to me up until now i stil be fren back with him..haha very unexpected...and today i thought i as a member has no present but i get a t-shirt wah so happy thats the second gift i receive from sheryl jie jie thanks so much..muakz juz for sheryl jie jie...she make me happy and seeing her making me feel "wah this jie jie so nice" ^_^

i will keep on praying for all of the one beside me and other ppl that i dun even know them too ^^...so happy can make new fren and the seniors are so frenly...weeehaaaa so happy...kyaaaaaaa!chak see ya later haha...

BELOW WAS MY EDITED POST...AT NIGHT AROUND 7PM(I THINK)
another unexpected thing happen another guys that i din expect to even say a hi to me...ask me about youth conference..i think there is only one guys i haven talk to that i make him mad once..haiz but i already okay with the other guy who i make them mad hehe...so happy...my prayer has reach the GOD i am so happy...

emmm....blush

2008-09-19T20:14:00.000-07:00

aimmm today was great haha...know what a famous guy called me and ask for something only on some purpose la.. T.T so sad he isn call me asking "hi how are u?have u eat?" haha thats like my ahem ahem or something..yeah that was unexpected..so i chat with him for some minutes..

and then today games was fun and ahem..i think of a stupid thing..know what i recently know a girl named shelly and she was gorgeously then pretty and cute girl ever i saw..she was..i duno how to put it in word..she was frenly,well she add me in msn..and then start to chat(hehe i am the kind of person who will start chatting even its a strangers,oh ya except indian boys bcoz i got a bad nightmare about them..sorry)..

about this girl she once ask me "is ur first kiss still with u?" and i answer "yes..how about u?" she says "no" and i ask while blushing "so........how does it feel?" lol i ask it to a stranger?well she is 16 years old and a girl so i dun mind(but i scare she mind T.T) but anyway i had ask..she answer "hmmm the first time was juicy and ...(i forget jor there is one more word" so i ask "first time?so it was more than once??" she says "three times.." i was like hmmm din need to be so shocked because she is so pretty...

oh ya back to the game...primary skul when hold hands its for something like rule rite?..but now secondary skul..ahem..today play a game that need to hold hand..so actually there is a girl named A and then a guy beside that girl named B on my left hand then my right hand is also a girl so i was selamba jek..

then suddenly the girl on my left hand say "i got work to do" and she left there~~ so i was blur at first and then i think of "OMG i need to hold his hand?" then suddenly my hand tremble..oh no i need to touch his hand..*sweat* actually this was normal but i rarely doing it with guys *sweat* except my family members lar~~...

i was sweating and tremble but i duno did he notice i am trembling?i guess not..fuh...but if he does.....*blush* OMG...so fish la..i know its normal for the active girls..i am active but not until active with guys...they are scary...

oh ya after i back from skul my papa tiba2 said to me about a girl aged 16 (same as me) been kidnapped and killled and then her parents need to pay 60000 not yen la..in Ringgit Malaysia..hmmm in my own opinion if i am been kidnapped and i prefer to juz die..she juz return from her part time job before been kidnapped..then i think my parents will say "haiz less one ppl is more GOOD" ahaha its my own opinion lar~~~or izit true?hahaha...

and then its almost exam..two weeks and three days..*sob*..unfair..i wan go back to kindergarden.. T.T i regret wasting my time in my form 1,2 and 3 T.T...so if u were form 3 and lower please study hard..but if ur parents are rich then i guess u can do it NORMALLY..lol..whatever..

so finally wish the Youth Conference berjalan dengan lancar lerrr...i really look forward to it..last year i din join in but this year i will try my best to join in..

gulp gulp...huarrrrr pup(fall to my bed)

2008-09-18T17:00:00.000-07:00

hmmmm really tired of the relationship between frens,teachers,companions,companion,that human....yikes...ewwww....kyaa....really stress but not stress out...later will be stress in...these day he is sad and i was better than sad...i would never happy with my skul fren but i cant find anyone(he/she) who can be my best fren..i am searching for someone that has mutual interest like me and only turn to me when anything happen...

i trust i can find him/her but later...i hope i cn find him/her A.S.A.P...if its a gurl then best fren la if guy mayb best fren/ahem ahem lar~~~...

ewww ya lately he is sad..i dunno why he is somekind cold..few weeks ago i was sad and unhappy and trying to be only fren with my best fren(its a success) i finally cn be fren with them and not bestfren coz they belong to each other i am juz an outsider...

two weeks ago i was very silent and he was happy..he ask me "hey kah yan why u so silent?..its not normal leh.." hmmm what the....what izit??u mean i was noisy when normal??yeah i guess so...

hmmm i stay alone..i can do anything alone...except for oral la...it needs pair work *faint*..i prefer alone but i hate ppl say me alone..i will whack that person no matter girl or guy include the so called normal fren..except its my family&junior(budak kecik)..i learn to not get angry no matter what they do...haiz...i hope its a success...

that day(i think its last week when my mood going up) i go to his place when physic and TRY to invite him to youth conference by saying "halo halo hmmm are u feeling sick or something??" but he was like "huh........?" with a scary look...so i said "uhhh....nth..." really scary...

hmmm i was really angry with the indian guy perdagangan...they are pervert...i use this word to describe them they are really PERVERT..well chinese guys is better at least all chinese guys i know from science,prinsip akaun and perdagangan class is nice..some of them maybe like to say bad thing but they wouldn act badly..those indians act and say too..worse!i am really fired up..wanna kick,punch and whack them!

hump..these day feeling down..because i choose to be normal fren with the two girls that i like so much(i means from the aspect of fren)..but then i feel as if i am an outsider so i choose to let go..this happen every year for me..i am juz like a volcano..the magma inside this volcano is made by my jealous and hate feeling..

form 1 i want yin ger and my rival is shu wen...suan liao lor...
form 2 i want hui ying and my rival is fui yen..suan but now i really dun wan she jor...keterlaluan la..
form 3 i want chai jing and my rival is fui yen(again?)..but now i also dun wan jor...
form 4 i want that person and my rival is that person...now still hurt...

i wonder who i want and who is my rival nex year..staying alone is nice after all..u can do thing alone and have peace...sometimes its like..hmmm see the example below...

A like B but B like C and C like A...so its a triangle right?
A like B and C like B..so its an angle right?
A like B,B like A and C like B..so this is stupid right?

lol...i was the C..tepuk tangan sebelah tidak akan ada bunyi..i am a person that bored easily..like i want that person but later i get bored...so it suit me that i am alone..i will be fren with my dark and bright side(or maybe the bright side never exist ahaha)..

chak cya...
take care...
sTaY h@PpY
-k@ReN-

amm....

2008-08-19T19:06:00.000-07:00

chih...wah my laptop take to hospital(repair centre)..so sad..now playing my desktop hehe..long time no use..so happy..i clean this desktop desk and all the other thing around it...wah so many dusk can make the powder...

hmmm last friday was funny...pn.soh ask the newbie(shoo yuen) to deliver a time table to class PA3 and then i am playing the vocabulary thing with other chinese classmate...the two newbie sit at the back preparing their english oral test..

this time is second oral(pair work),i am with chai jing (my class genius) yeah we did it..she was gorgeous but i forget my lines T.T wat a pathetic..yeah then shoo yuen ask soik yin to go with her instead of me(cheese i am an outsider after all)..

yeah they go without asking me anything like "which class is it?" or "where it was?" but if they ask me i also blur blur..so when rehat we like usual go library to eat books and be a book worm..that day no homework so i go there jump here jump there..

that day i "teman" shoo yuen go pejabat mintak cop sekolah...for the popular voucher..wah rm200++ leh...she so genius..i dun usually go pejebat..there worker so scary leh..but then i teman her enter and i see pn.rohani hehe..

that time soik yin at library doing her physics note..then we (shoo yuen and me) go library and she ask me "where is 4PA3?" and i say "there"*pointing at the block C second floor* she say "not there meh?"*pointing at the block B second floor* and then i get blur but i am sure it was block C because the third floor is starting with 4sc4,4sc5 and 4PA1 then below 4PA1 is 4PA2,4PA3 and 4p1 then block B third floor start with 4sc1,4sc2 and 4sc3 then below 4sc1 is 4p2,4p3 and tasawur Islam..

and then we ask ppl and know that they deliver the 4pa3 time table to 4p3 okay fine so we quickly run back to class and see khai sern so we ask him if he could go 4p3 and take the time table then deliver it to 4pa3?he blured...okay fine so we ask him to take care of our bag..

bags..we scare those other class monkey because after it will be moral class..so we get down to 4p3 and get the time table..if u are my schoolmate please dun go 4p3..it was terrible..sooo many indian..once i see them i feel as if i am in some where dirty..i am not saying what just that i hate indian boys..

okay we run to 4pa3 in the middle we see danny..so i ask danny "are u 4pa2?" he say "yes" and i gave him the time table!!oh GOD..once again i give the time table to the wrong class..i am the old student but still blur..so in the middle back to my class i remember and we run back to danny and i say "sorry sorry that was supposed to be 4pa3 time table sorry!" wah so fish neh...

that was a great laugh for me,shoo yuen and soik yin..for my funny act..this week doing nothing and today wish a happy birthday to two person..well i am not sure the other one but i am sure with my mom...

so happy looking back at the old card..include birthday,mother's day,new year,christmas and other cute and other present..wahhh there is also some that i forget i had gave to my mom..what a sweet memory..but then there is terrible card that i made when 2003(well my mummy has writen down the year)..ahaha we had a great laugh..

yeah then the other person i am not sure is guan ming..the one that i had misunderstand with..anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY ya ^_^

and last saturday go KL with my 2nd sis and her boyfren..hehe nice nice..many thing are sold there..finding a present for my mum but end up buying some tart and siew pow..haha..and so................

so much malang leh....

2008-08-12T20:56:00.000-07:00

hmmm so much malang thing happen...bad luck...but i chose to bear with it because shu wen say that "its because the evil spirit envy u,so they make u suffer and think that GOD is evil..."...yesh i totally agree with her...thankz shu wen!!

really a lot of thing happen BUT everything bad happen..once i see his laughing and funny face or sms with him i will smile and regain my confident...today i am so happy and i scared tomorrow could be a day when i suffer...today i really like the sky colour in evening..its pretty i wish i could take a pic of it but i din bring my phone to school...its pretty and make u feel happy and peace...the colour of nature sky,ocean,cloud,air,grass...i love these colour...

hmmm today i feel really really angry neh...i say i need to control myself so i did half of it...a friend ask me "what happen??" when i am really really feel wan to commit a perfect crime to kill a human...then i tell her "please dun kacau me when i am in an extremely low mood..." and then she give up so...slowly slowly i regain my smile and laugh by making that person who make me angry TRANSPARENT!! geez...suan liao...

its more heavy if i hate him so i chose to anggap him transparent..i tell u who read this..hating is soooo heavy that making u more sad and hurting urself...so just dun do this BAKA thing or follow my baka path of hating ppl...instead of hating u can try loving or AT LEAST dun hate..at least just anggap him or her u hate TRANSPARENT then ur life is perfect without an enemy...

i have a habit of knowing a lot of ppl but then after few day i get bored..it feel like after i am bored i pretend as if i dont know that ppl..usually i dun talk to the one i feel arrogant..except when he/she ask me something then no reason for me to be rude by ignore him/her..so terpaksa jawab instead of being called arrogant by other ppl to me...

i am always always friendly..hehez..oh ya sambung just now...when i regain my smile and laugh(not fully)..i force myself to smile and laugh...i dun wan anyone to ask me "what happen??" and i malas to answer anyone what happen....and then the time i back...well i back at 1.05 then i ask my papa to come at 1.40 cause i am not sure i have chemistry additional class or not..

and then the result is NO chemi class so i and two of my classmate sit at the inside school,behind bus stop to blow water(chui sui u know??) like talk nothing...hehez then sit until around 1.40 their father come so they go back so i walk slowly to the place where i usually wait for my father..i walk there slowly by thinking.."hmmm how to do that math question??" and a lot more stuck in my head until..

1)then i see one of my school mate (can be called friend??duno...) and i walk across the road to her...then after a few minute she merungut to me..and i listen to it...she say "usually its not this late de..." i answer "ohhhhh...." then after a few minute the car arrive so she go back lur...she is so cute..mun yee which is the so called MING YEE in chinese...well she is still kekal the 'yee' at the back but me is totally different...kah yan so called jia en...

so i make an english name karen...i has an english name before JENNY but if u check the dictionary it mean "female donkey,keldai betina" lol the first timei know this is because when i am form 1/form2 one of my tuityen friend choo pei wen check her dictionary with my name..because nothing to do..and find it..geez..why me...nt good thing always me kena...good thing no me de...

2)and then after she go back..i sambung thinking what is the answer for all my question then unpredictablely someone come and he say "wah so lonely o??..." >.< ...hehe he is so friendly even i am not so rapat with him but he is a part of cell group...and then he ask me "alone hor??" and then i answer "enn.."(a kind of nod) then he ask me "u always stayback friday right?" then i answer "enn..."

then he ask me why dun i bring the two newbie??then i answer "they dun want go..." and he say "ohhh..." so funny...his name is kelvin and with 3 other guys..well they are all chinese so i wouldn scare of them and they all looks so good..they are like nice lor..but if its indians or malay guys(stranger or the one i duno) i will ignore them...hmmm i hope i berjaya convince shoo yuen and soik yin stay with me friday..or at least ONLY shoo yuen please...

even though they are newbie but many ppl notice them...no matter form3,4,or 5 (no matter science or princip account or perdagangan class..no matter genius or sebaliknya..) and a lot of ppl seem to like them..especially shoo yuen..really cute,pretty and clever most important not chuan ppl but i am not her so called BEST FRIEND coz she is always stick with soik yin..well i am juz lonely after all huh..hehe but nvm maybe that suit me...being left behind is so fish..hehez..

then he say do u know him? *pointing at adrian* and i say "enn..." so malu la talking to him..and then adrian is someone i ignore when i dun understand that i once love him..so now i understand..and he goes say "hi" with a funny and smiling face lol...i feel wanna laugh out loud..he is at the across road when he shouting at me..he scared me T.T (i think)...

i think they are a group with 4 ppl...kelvin,ken,adrian and tan guan ming..the last one is someone who has a misunderstood for me..becauseof a thing happen during form 1..so until now we din talk..i think form 2 i apologies to him(phone) and he say "sorry for what?" but then at school he make me transparent leh..so i think form 3 i say again sorry (phone) and he once again say "sorry for what??"...

geez...i dun think i need to say 'sorry' to him this year too...so juz ignore him..hehez..before go back kelvin say "becareful o.." ( i think i heard it)...hmmm form this year i know a lot of new chinese guys in perdagangan and science class that i duno...

science 1-a bit chuan...
science 2-only a guys..dulu he always alone but now he regain his happyness(i think) and now i am lonely pulak..dulu i am hyperactive..sekarang he is hyperactive..
science 3-no chinese guys...
science 4-some good some chuan..but they are friendly(i think)
science 5-i think i know some of them..one of them is the one who dun like me...and other i duno...
prinsip akaun 1,2,3-know some of them but so chuan..
perdagangan1,2,3-know some of them..a guy dun like me..and other is hong chun,adrian,ken,kelvin and otherz...some are chuan too o...

wah me so many guys enemy more than girls enemy o...(i think)..in my life if that person is not friendly/din talk to others(i mean some la but some din talk because they are quite and they are not chuan) then he/she is chuan...

oh ya today is TAN KAH SIANG birthday..our school form 4 genius..number 1 in mei exam...happy birthday o..so fish la that day i asked khai sern instead of kah siang..i ask him last week "nex tuesday is ur birthday right??" and he say "WHAT??" i forget that his birthday is on may sumthing..so fish so i keep on and say "aiya reborn la u..." and then the shoo yuen,soik yin,me and khai sern laugh..haha what a nice memory piece i have...

hmm thats all...wah so long..hehe..lets enjoy our life..keep ur smile..at least force urself to smile and when u are truely sad/unhappy go and watch PHUA CHU KANG private limited the best in singapore and JB and some say batam..lol..their slogan..when i am sad i watch it and laugh..chak see ya...

soooo much dissapointed,desperate,gloomy,sad.....

2008-08-09T10:05:00.000-07:00

i did cry...but i think its nevermind..ahaha blame myself so trust other ppl lor...and i trust myself too...haiz nvm la..truthly i am really dissapointed..who else can i trust if not my own family??who else??i believe in GOD and my family the most..but now it seem a bit change after my father and my own mother trick me....

i am really dissapointed..dissapointed u know??dissapointed...i am really really dissapointed..i did cry out...how can??now i only straight away ONLY believe in GOD...and NO ONE ELSE..i wont believe in u either...after all he(my own father)say that "din believe ppl so easily...there is no one to be trust anymore...except the GOD...

okay let see from today..i WONT believe...it hurt me..it slash i my heart...i feel painful..thats what make me want to cry..i never cry like this until my tear keep flowing through my cheek..its painful for your own family to trick and betrayed u...

now i feel nothing but i hope it will change later..because my intention is not to hate...but to cry if someone hurt,betray,gossip and scold me...i CAN ONLY cry when i feel lonely,sad,painful and so on...

now i will remember today of my life...being trick and thanks to my father and mother i learnt a lesson and i have been hurt once..i will remmber this painful year(2008),this month(august),this day(09),this hour(9),this minute(41),this second(49),this time(AM)...today is the day i feel too ainful that i want to suicide..

its different if it was other ppl who betray me..that will only cause a slash..but now its deep in my heart that i think cant even be cure anymore it will remain there forever..and then i msn my friend and she say

hui ying says (9:27 AM):ur parent jZ ply wit u...no nid put in ur heart...coz..ur mind n they nt same..

hui ying says (9:28 AM):they mayb duno hw to ply wit u....so use they cara to goutungin dewasa mind..they alway ply trick..but if gt 2 bentuk..1 is kind want second is bad 1

hui ying says (9:29 AM):he jz ask u dun easy trust ppl..it true..dun easy belive p..coz..u duno wat d man/gal is

hui ying says (9:30 AM):although is me..also dun belive too much..coz u duno wat i'm thinking

hui ying says (9:31 AM):they hv experience..know at luar banyak org yg jahat tapi muka kind only

and thanks to her i feel better and my dear friend shu wen too....she sms me tepat pada masa..when i feel really really wan to suicide...
and now i list some of my friend that have connection(friend) with me that i like...

SCHOOL
-other class
shu wen-although i always gaduh with her but she is somekind nice...
hui ying-still nice...
kah siang-make me laugh in school and never chuan...
adrian-although once i hate him but now we became friend again...and everytime i see him i will smile..he is funny..

-same class as me
pei yin-blur but caring and nice...
shoo yuen-cute..
soik yin-nice..
chai jing-nice..
khai sern-always make me laugh and i never feel chuan in him...

-cell group
shu wen,pei yin,ken,JR,steven,sheryl,hong chun,siew yee,john mak,jenny,dickson(shu wen little brother)..and steven de sister(sorry duno her name),kelvin,adrian,guan ming(although i hate him once but now the hate turn to love but i still duno,is him forgive me already??)...and somemore is the younger that i duno their name...thats all for cell group member..(i think)

oh ya and yesterday is my ketua kelas sayonara party too...so sad all the good ppl are leaving SMK Puchong Utama (1)..and the bad remain there...haiz although i remind myself not to cry but why i always did it again and again..i remember heard this word before...

and then yesterday speech was told by john mak..he say "a long time ago there was three tree named A,B and C..tree A say "i am gonna be a part of the castle" then tree B say "i am gonna be something really useful"..then 1 day a carpenter come and cut down tree A..and build a really really old house..then the second tree B is been cut down and want to make a very very precious ship..and then suddenly the one who ukir the ship make a mistake and the ship become useless and left there....and then tree C..say the same thing "i am gonna be a very very great tree in the world"..then the carpenter cut it down and plan to make a wonderful house..then suddenly the house wreck...and tree C become useless and cut to 2...these 3 tree is saying "oh LORD why U make my life like this??" and then these putus asa turn to a great semangat..when JESUS is been born in the old house build with tree A..tree A feel really really proud..and then JESUS use the old ship build with tree B to stop all the storm in the sea..then tree C sigh again..and say " u two nice la,one is the place where JESUS was born and one being step by HIM and then this tree C is not the place where JESUS born nor being step by JESUS but JESUS is been hang on it...tree C feel proud TOO because its been a part of the suci thing..
THE END...
this speech is great...

"if u are hurt.......just cry out loud,as much as u want to...it will make u relieve " but i some relieve but also some hurt....that slash so pain la....

wuhooooooo.......

2008-08-07T19:55:00.000-07:00

hmmm i heard tml is gotong royong so should i go??hmmm maybe its nice...to help..oh ya i MUST make a change of myself leh..its somekind terpaksa what...hmmm a bunch of thing i cant do leh...but i will try it...

CANT
-hate
-trick
-lie
-say those #&*%$@# erm the bahasa kasar la..
-kill
-commit ******** (well my friend told me)
-disobey the LAWS
and much much more...(nt nice de thing la)

MUST
-love (i will have to try hard on this because i even need to love my enemy leh..even girls...haiz)
-good
-pure
-trust
-have faith in GOD
and much much more(good thing la)

yeah i try it..now i am trying the most hard for me is to love even ur enemy..oh my oh my..yeah i make them transparent but thats not a kind of love...cis...cheeseeee..but i try not to hate him anymore..and i did sms him lately..so i feel happy after i make up with him..maybe because i less a beban(the hate feeling)..its really a heavy feeling to keep inside u..

and lately i have been smile a lot and then that day (maybe tuesday 5-8-08) i was smiling and laughing and playing really crazy but then who would have guess that it return as sadness in the next day (wednesday 6-8-08)??yeah i think i will have to keep alone all the time..because bersusah-susah dahulu,bersenang-senang kemudian..

i have been keeping myself away from my dear friend..they are all clever and i am always left OUTCAST..real friend huh..i wonder does it exist??or even the word FRIEND is just an illusion??....i had no idea..

yesh....

2008-08-04T21:10:00.000-07:00

yesh...finally i learnt to face with problem then running from each of them..ahem i did call the one that i am avoid from..sms him and say a "hi" so....it seem nothing happen.okay i settle with him...i chose to face with others problem too and i dun wan to hate anymore...now i learnt that hating other make u in pain and always being cursed..

in the opposite of hate i will turn it to the perfect love...even the girl i hate..even the chuan-est i will be patient not to curse them back..yeah yeah yeah...

oh ya and then today duno what to call...today almost kena baling with pei yin book...luckly i have a habit of making fun of ppl...when i see someone is throwing stuff then i will critic their ability to of baling accurately..so usually i will block myself with something so that time when she throw was my adm adm class(i think) then suddenly the book flew bengkok and went straight to my face but before that i block my face with two bio paper...wah pei yin throwing is so NICE leh...then she and the two who sit beside my laugh..

aiyo...somemore she is a basket ball player leh...dun play anymore la..not accurate de...haha just kidding...oh my lucky day not because kena baling la..its because she baling x kena me...

and then when rehat at the library..i see that xiao didi so bising one...named francis(i think) and his sister acnes(i think)..his sister is more mature than him la...so childish..and somemore say me "SHORT"!!!what the heck??what to do with u if i am short??u are not my bf or hubby...blek...but nevermind i forgive u...and then a usual the guys are hungry(sorry cannot find another word to express that word) waiting for shoo yuen...yeah but today they are more sctive..more active la and somemore when that xiao didi kacau me..there is a guy say "woi xiao didi" then jeling2 at shoo yuen and then i think he is saying "woi still kacau my girl ar??!!!" lol and then he point at me and say "this is kah siang de" and then suddenly i felt cold and wanna muntah la...

no guys would talk to me like that before...everyone know kah siang with siew chong de...aiyo why say me too??...actually i went to library everyday and if someone want to find me..i wounldn be in canteen when rehat but in the library...and i today i went there to do my homework and some review then i put back all the book i take (3 buku tebal biology) and while put back i say "haiz today i cant do my homework de la...."...

and then for a while they are like monkeys...at the door...i scare to walk so i ask pei yin walk first..ahaha okay la update later....hehehe...thank GOD for the happiness HE gave me and also the sadness..

tootoorooroo....

2008-08-02T18:19:00.000-07:00

funny title (i think)...ahaha..hmmm about yesterday first august i see him (DIRECTED) cannot run away man coz we go to the same place after stay back...yeah no run away so i have no choice but to face him..that time i wan to say "i am soooo sorry to ignore u and pretend like i am the best....i am soory even though we break but can we be friend back??since we are the friend for form 1 and 2...) but i din say it...there are reason...

1)firstly my mood was down...lose something really important..hoping next monday can find at school...please without it i D.I.E.
2)second is malu la..what after all he is the one who dump me and then i am the one who pretend arrogant and ignore him the last time...
3)and lastly but not least is he seem to be hate me..well after all i did all the arrogant face to him...everyone would be angry..i know that very well but still i just do it again and again..

oh GOD please let me say it if i have chance...i need GUTS...oh please..please make him forgive all my sins to him..

and then i duno when i dream about him (duno which wire i sot(gila/tercabut) jor...)..about 8-7-08 gua...haiz...so these day was so....duno how to say like always got happy and sad...so KAGUM shoo yuen o..so many guys wan to pikat her...well she is a pretty,cute,baby voice and face,clever,nice,soft,innocent,gentle and so on...really really kagum o...

haiz so tired la study study study but STUDy is the job for a STUDent...just need to do my best right...yosh!!SPM wait for me..i will be arrive/meet U(SPM) 17 month more..looking forward..i duno how he/she(SPM) look..

i....i need to....

2008-07-18T16:09:00.000-07:00

i....i need....i need to.......to awaken and reborn....i need to be stronger...i need to become powerful instead of sitting here and sigh for my life....this life is uncompareable to my sister's life who come to this world earlier than me....i cried when i know it...i hope this wasn too late for me to be praying and do my best from now on...

karen is being awaken.......today i put this pic of CJ7 (picture above) as my msn pic and my friend ask..."u like 7chai so much?" then i reply..."20% i love myself 80%" and she say "zhong yao percent ar?then wat is 100 percent?" well i dun understand muc her english...can u understand?okay...and then i replied "the thing 100% i love is myself plus GOD plus family plus friends and all the thing belongs to me"...

and then lately i see him a lot at school...i bet myself still cant forget him gua...yeah finally i know he is in 4 perdagangan 1 i thought he was 4p2 haiz...he is just in the class 2nd floor opposite my class and i am at the third floor...haiz....maybe that time when i see him in 4p2 was because some bc combine class or anything...well i check his class at the exam kedudukan at the corridor of the pejabat...

and this is another problem...another him...always asking me "do u love me??i dont think so"...why u juz dun believe me??if i break wit u,i would end up making enemy wit u...so dun force me....i ......duno ......wat to do.....the thing i can do is cry and pray.....or shud i say there is nothing more i can do....i am so stress....

blink blink

2008-07-16T19:23:00.000-07:00

ermmmm well these day i see him a lot but my feelings still din fade away..my eyes keep on following him,its nt like i want to..i dun hav self-control..that the worse..lol my lovely fren is so funny today she being called "penyu" because the style she take her bag and her bag shape like penyu...hmmm i am curious why nt kura-kura??..i have no idea...

and then and then..there is a form 5 guys ask her if she got hanphone..unluckly no..hehe..so lucky la her..so many people pikat her..so cute nex time i stick her pic haha..maybe..she is so soft...soffy..hahaha..and then and then..there is a guy form 4sc4 like her and write it on her table...wow sugoi(amazing) thats a......(duno how to say that word) sugoi...it write "to shoo yuen..i love u(in chinese) from....."(aiya i no need write here or then the whole worlf will know..well i am not so rapat wit him too...or should i say i duno him at all just know he is a monkey/play boy by judging his attitude)..he wrote big big on the table..wow..

and then the malay ppl(hmmm i suppose the gangster one la,huh wat 4sc2 also have gangster??yeah thats right..well even 4sc1 have...i duno how they study..i never see them study kacau ppl got la)...yeah and the malay ppl always kacau her ahaha thats the keburukan for being so pretty..gambateh no shoo yuen-chan ^^

exam is next week...yesterday,the day before yesterday i also see him..why i avoid from him??cis still cant get the answer...i plan on forgetting him but its useless..so now i plan on loving him more..i hope it works lor...because avoid and hating him was painful to me...i will try..he is such a beban to me..haiz wish i NEVER know him(nt logic,i already know him baa)

keke hoho si penyu oh si penyu..comel nye awak ^^
shoo yuen and soya bean chan so cute and clever..they are cc ppl nt ll ppl...u know wat is ll ppl??one is "lala"(gangster) and lcly(well u know)..they are cute and clever ahaha..

exam making me so stress so gomenasai to the ppl i scold coz cant control myself..i think that all...i should love him more...

lollipop....

2008-07-10T23:01:00.000-07:00

wats wit the title??grrr i aslo duno...i dun like lollipop so muc..today was so funny about my lisan..yeah as usual i was the first one(cis why i am not the first one in exam...nt fair..)and so as usual i was lazy..teacher tell us to find it and i did forget it and actually i plan on buying a berita harian around rm1.80??or rm1.50??whatever...

yeah so??i din find anything to talk so i talk rubbish with teacher...u know wat is rubbish??in chinese its (fei hua) using peparu to talk (my guys friend teach me)..ahaha yeah i did talk about pembuangan sampah...i din prepared so what i did was...luckly its bm lisan and not bi oral..if bi i already died scoring zero mark in my oral but it was lisan so i selamba jek walk to teacher..this is our conversation..oh ya that time i remember that teacher was so heng(geram) and i selamba said....

me:selamat sejahtera....
teacher:*still so heng*
me:*saying all about rubbish*
teacher:*show some reaction* hmmm okay ni la markah lisan u ya...

and i was like "haiz must be the worse"...*monolog dalaman*
yeah so what i did was....i translate my bi oral to bm lisan in just 1 minute...OMG i cant believe i did it..at least i try...and it pass so i close my eyes and went to my place and my friend ask me bla bla bla??and i say la..they a guys ask me "hw was it??" and i answer "hw was it??like that la" and he say "u prepared meh??" and i say "no" he say "then?" and i answer "just translate my english oral to malay la" and he said "u still remember meh??" and said "yeah"...

after 3 minute and then teacher say that i am selamba and thats what she wan...everybody was looking at me and i dare to look back at them..i am thinking "wat??"(completely my brain was going makan angin then i regain my conscious...oh the teacher was satisfied gua..well lisan is something u say selamba and not hafal..)

i already did close my eyes and it pass...and one more is today taking pic for pengawas,pps and kelab....why kelab no me,i am form 4 ajk leh...penolong haha..nvm i am nt that excited wit taking pic..and so i be kuli for 3 ppl(pei yin,shoo yuen and soik yin) because they go taking pps pic so i take their books to the chemistry lab from the physic lab on the way there was a guy name danny ask me "wah kah yan take so muc book,u can?wan my help?" and i answer "no need le"(i scare hutang budi to guys..they suddenly my monitor(girl) come and say "naik atas...." i was like "naik mana heaven ka??" aiyoyo..so berat so terpaksa go to class from chemistry lab...feel like asking money being kuli for them but they help me a lot so nvm la...

oh ya on the way balik kelas my one more chinese guy ask me "come la i help la" and i tolak the offer too,i said "oh no need le..thx le.." and then i say "i need to stand straight,keep it up" and nt so suffer i sampai kelas...fuh leganye...on the way to kelas from chemi lab chai jing was helping me taking all the pencil box too..thank chai jing,i could not do it without her...actually what she take is tamarai part but then she say "i go take water ar" then she din come back..*sweat* this tamarai...feel wanna rip her 18 part..

my class has 5 chinese girl include me...3 are pps and 1 are pengawas so i am the pure/normal and one of them ask me "'then u are saying we are all non pure and abnormal" lol i din mean it...and only 1 chinese guy..lately he is been so active..biasa he only like sitting there and dreaming and SLEEPING..lol...actually i like him at first he was so cute and clever..but then he talk like......urg suan i target other ppl lur~~~

and yeah my papa giv me an alarm for my birthday present(isn it too early??it was nt so good in chinese...song chong(for the one who pass away..)

alah....

2008-07-06T10:20:00.000-07:00

grrrr this was not chuan enuf??chih the number 2 in the whole form 4 is soooooooo chuan...the number 1 is a chinese and number 2 is an indian(my primary SCHOOLMATE not so shuang him la)..number 1 is 4sc4 student..i never ever tot he wil get number 1 with his playful attitude...but at the reality he get it..i will remember him...

why nowaday guys like to talk bahasa kasar and summore??i kena wit 3 guys..and i will definitely remember them..two are my age and one are my senior..okay suan liao..

haiz haiz haiz haiz haiz haiz....my friend ask me why i "haiz" then i answer relationship...she say so??and i WAN to ask "hey can u tell me hw many metre is hell form here??" but i din ask...

erm my friends name is always "y" at the back or "s" at the front..
my classmate chinese is all y at the back include me but exclude chai jing coz she is j at the back..
i will list from the oldest ahaha (x mengaku diri tua la tu)...
pei Yin-our leader haha...(birthday in may)
hui Ying-she is not my class but anyway...a rather genius person ba..(in june)
shoo Yuen-our cute and pretty maiden in the whole form 4??oh ya she is soooo tulus one...(in august)
soik Yin-as the name as soik as eva (soik mean pretty or sumthing like that la)..(in october)
kah Yan-mie..(december)

and then here are the "s" name at the second name in chinese...also from the oldest..
Sim xie-yeah the only guys i know thats always so gentle...(may)
Shu wen-my best friend hehe..we always gaduh one from form1 until form3..(july)
Shoo yuen-rujuk up there..(august)
Soik yin-rujuk up there..she is exactly the same date as me but diff two month..(october)

i THINK this all gua..yeah yeah..
haiz wat do u think of some relaxing time...?sure nice right??
i wonder if the ppl got all the following would be so nice and say perfect right??
-money
-face
-beauty
-heart
-brain
nice huh but if without heart are juz rubbish right??...
kekeke...if i could drive where do u think the first place i will go??
hmmm i wonder..
-helping my father??
-bringing my mom to shopping??(thats only if she dare to be my passenger ahaha)
-shopping wit friends??
-going church with my sis and friends??
-or even go on alone makan angin??
hmmm i wonder these question myself too but then it need nex year after spm because my birthday is on december but if my birthday is on january also the same..my papa wont give me get my licent until i pass my spm..haiz...after drive u can get a lot of love letter from the polis..or in chinese they call it "ngau yok kon" which means bacon or cow meat..i think ahaha...
since no pic so i use colour to make the blog interesting...
champagne is really nice..i love it...totally..
i hope today is still saturday..
but its sunday..

hajimema shite ♥ღ

2008-07-03T20:10:00.000-07:00

hmmm these day pretty busy lor...hmwork hmwork hmwork gaigai gaigai gaigai and of cuz zzz zzz zzz haha...as happy as ever...err no reason...err wanna say thanks to my dear friendz and family...haha..i list down some ppl who stay connect wit me (these day)...

school-school friend..the most shoo yuen who sit nex to me and very very very extremely nice...true de extremely true...and a soik yin..so sook(which means pretty or sumthing in cantonese) and at last but not least shu wen(its her birthday at 1-7-08 happy belated birthday to shu wen ^^) and pei yin..
phone/sms-shu wen,soik yin,sim xie,shoo yuen..wonder why all "s" at the last name...
msn-my 2nd sis,hui ying,shoo yuen,soik yin and others(nt so rapat and rarely chat)..
friendster-pei yin,hui ying and others(nt so rapat rarely chat)..
home-of cuz my family..who else..
heaven-GOD..
hell-my bad side..

yeah so who is the most connect to me all the time(in school)??the answer is shoo yuen who are the most cute and pretty girl..all malay guys in my class is teasing her except for malak,arman and afiq which are nice malay guys(they rarey kacau ppl,if they do its just a little)..but they bully geng are the saifuddin geng lor..

they are terrible...so noisy...and then there is a malay guy i hate the most..i also duno why these guys is science class..that malay guy is 4sc1 named faidhi(i think correct)..he is like nothing to do..his class is in 4sc1 but always come to 4sc2 and make 4sc2 pasar pagi...kurang ajar u know??...

eveytime he is there i juz anggap he is transparent...such a monkey..oh no monkey is too cute for him..it should be chimpanze ba??arg...

my fav is shoo yuen hehe as fren la of cuz...
so tired...

†♥ღ Be Happyღ ♥†

no one is pefect ｡◕‿◕｡

from the last post until 30/10/2010 .

my love history ^^

food! XD

my point of view .

random blogggggggy X3

o_0

today~

today...jpj test D'X

crazy...

Pain..

haiz...

i am glad. =)

rm25...rest in peace...

lol.

Beloved.

^^

this gotta be a long long post. =3

uhhh.

bye bye.

hehe.

curious curious.

dui.

StrEsS

=)

...

hmm~

hoho~

sad~~

tired~~

zzz

Past..

zzzzz

news!!

things happened today..

BitCH

...

damn bastard(pork)

haiz..

damn..

didi dada...$%^&*&^%$%^&*

aiz,,

hmmm...

aih...haha...

haiz..

hmmm...

haiz..

i'm a little scared...

haiz..

humpty dumpty?

argg..

a fun fun day..

wan find a rope soon...

Eyaaaaaaaaa.....

hmmm....*cry*

songz..part 7 and 8

songz..part 6

songz..part 5

songz..part 4

songz..part 3

songz..part 2

songz..part 1

finally..

so what?

bleeding hate...

argh argh argh argh argh argh argh....

wah..

weeee kyaaaa!!

over enjoyed...

emmm....*blush*

gulp gulp...huarrrrr *pup*(fall to my bed)

amm....

so much malang leh....

soooo much dissapointed,desperate,gloomy,sad.....

wuhooooooo.......

yesh....

tootoorooroo....

i....i need to....

*blink blink*

didi dada...$%^&&^%$%^&

hmmm....cry

emmm....blush

gulp gulp...huarrrrr pup(fall to my bed)

blink blink